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Writing Samples
Band 4

It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?

#life #people #reason #phenomenon
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The
Change preposition
In the
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 past people were more relaxed and felt happier than now
due to
Linking Words
 the modern lifestyle. The technology and science progress
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very impressive but
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the population
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happy now? it is hard to answer that because a large number of the public is living
the
Correct article usage
a
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 stressful
life
Use synonyms
 and
this
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 trend is
quite
Rephrase
apply
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increasing dramatically. Professional and personal
life
Use synonyms
 are the main causes and some possible solutions can be solved
this
Linking Words
 trend.
This
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 essay shall discuss it briefly in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, professional
life
Use synonyms
 can stimulate more
stress
Use synonyms
 to mankind which means at present, getting employment is not easy like the past period because all the applicant have more skills and talent
while
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 each and everyone have to compete to get the job and
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 they have to prove their skills to the employers
while
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 they should get more stressed
due to
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non-guarranty
Correct your spelling
non-guarantee
 of the work. Another reason is that
personal
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in personal
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life
Use synonyms
, people do not have more spare
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their family
due to
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the
Change the word
their
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 working
time
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. They spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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on
Change preposition
in
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 working places
instead
Linking Words
 of
their
Change preposition
with their
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 family members,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result,
Use synonyms
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
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 ratio is raised.
For example
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, people who
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 with their closed
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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while
Linking Words
 they are suffering
stress
Use synonyms
 and depression. There are some feasible solutions
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
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this
Linking Words
 adverse situation. The authority should implement the
ruoes
Correct your spelling
rules
 and regulations of
worker's
Fix the agreement mistake
workers'
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 employment
guarenty
Correct your spelling
guaranty
guarantee
such
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 as
agreement
Fix the agreement mistake
agreements
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 and
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
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. The government should investigate to all the companies and organisations adhere
these
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to these
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 rules about
workers
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' job stability.
For instance
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, Finland has already implemented
in
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apply
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this
Linking Words
 act to support
with
Change preposition
apply
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workers
Use synonyms
. The
workers
Use synonyms
 should be worked only eight hours in
company
Add an article
the company
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instead
Linking Words
 of twelve hours in order to they can spend more
time
Use synonyms
 with their family members,
as a result
Linking Words
,
stress
Use synonyms
 will
be existed
Change to the active voice
exist
have existed
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 and they can lead to being a
relaxation
Replace the word
relaxed
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life
Use synonyms
 like our ancestors.
To conclude
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,
Use synonyms
stress
Replace the word
a stressful
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life
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
does
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 not
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
Use synonyms
 satisfaction
instead
Linking Words
 of mental pressure and anxiety. Lack of job
guranty
Correct your spelling
guarantees
 and lack of
time
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 with family are the main reasons for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon,
standarised
Correct your spelling
standardised
 working hours and the
Use synonyms
workers
Capitalize word
Workers
show examples
act
Capitalize word
Act
show examples
 are the feasible remedies.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentence structures and improper use of linking words. There are grammatical errors and poor word choices that hinder readability. Please focus on creating clear and coherent sentences, ensuring paragraph transitions are smooth and logical.
task achievement
Your essay's task response needs improvement. You must address all parts of the task more directly with clear, relevant ideas. Ensure your essay addresses the causes of stress and offers specific, developed solutions. Moreover, please avoid repetition and stay on topic to maintain task relevance.
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