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Band 4

It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?

#life #people #reason #phenomenon
The
Change preposition
In the
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 past people were more relaxed and felt happier than now
due to
 the modern lifestyle. The technology and science progress
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very impressive but
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the population
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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happy now? it is hard to answer that because a large number of the public is living
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 stressful
life
 and
this
 trend is
quite
Rephrase
apply
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increasing dramatically. Professional and personal
life
 are the main causes and some possible solutions can be solved
this
 trend.
This
 essay shall discuss it briefly in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
 with, professional
life
 can stimulate more
stress
 to mankind which means at present, getting employment is not easy like the past period because all the applicant have more skills and talent
while
 each and everyone have to compete to get the job and
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 they have to prove their skills to the employers
while
 they should get more stressed
due to
non-guarranty
Correct your spelling
non-guarantee
 of the work. Another reason is that
personal
Change preposition
in personal
show examples
life
, people do not have more spare
time
 to spend with their family
due to
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 working
time
. They spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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 working places
instead
 of
their
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with their
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 family members,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result,
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
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 ratio is raised.
For example
, people who
not
Add a missing verb
do not
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 spend more
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 with their closed
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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while
 they are suffering
stress
 and depression. There are some feasible solutions
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
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be solved
Wrong verb form
solve
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this
 adverse situation. The authority should implement the
ruoes
Correct your spelling
rules
 and regulations of
worker's
Fix the agreement mistake
workers'
show examples
 employment
guarenty
Correct your spelling
guaranty
guarantee
such
 as
agreement
Fix the agreement mistake
agreements
show examples
 and
contract
Fix the agreement mistake
contracts
show examples
. The government should investigate to all the companies and organisations adhere
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
 rules about
workers
' job stability.
For instance
, Finland has already implemented
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 act to support
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
workers
. The
workers
 should be worked only eight hours in
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
instead
 of twelve hours in order to they can spend more
time
 with their family members,
as a result
,
stress
 will
be existed
Change to the active voice
exist
have existed
show examples
 and they can lead to being a
relaxation
Replace the word
relaxed
show examples
life
 like our ancestors.
To conclude
,
stress
Replace the word
a stressful
show examples
life
is
Verb problem
does
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 not
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 satisfaction
instead
 of mental pressure and anxiety. Lack of job
guranty
Correct your spelling
guarantees
 and lack of
time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 with family are the main reasons for
this
 phenomenon,
standarised
Correct your spelling
standardised
 working hours and the
workers
Capitalize word
Workers
show examples
act
Capitalize word
Act
show examples
 are the feasible remedies.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence due to disjointed sentence structures and improper use of linking words. There are grammatical errors and poor word choices that hinder readability. Please focus on creating clear and coherent sentences, ensuring paragraph transitions are smooth and logical.
task achievement
Your essay's task response needs improvement. You must address all parts of the task more directly with clear, relevant ideas. Ensure your essay addresses the causes of stress and offers specific, developed solutions. Moreover, please avoid repetition and stay on topic to maintain task relevance.
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