IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A contentious debate surrounds whether
success
Use synonyms
 is innate or achieved. Many argue that there are several qualities which are inborn, others contend that being gifted is not something that comes from our nature. I strongly believe that great effort is the main key to being talented, and skills and abilities can be learned through time.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are numerous affirmations by
people
Use synonyms
 who claim that
people
Use synonyms
 are born with talents. To expand the idea, a number of researches verify the importance of imagination and creativity, which are inherent qualities, and
success
Use synonyms
 breeds
success
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 view can be supported by the evidence that there are many examples of child prodigies. To cite an example, Mozart, a well-known composer, composed music at the age of five, and
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 exemplifies the significance of having natural skills. Regarding the opposite side of the view,
people
Use synonyms
 are on the side of the opinion that each skill
that is
Linking Words
 associated with
success
Use synonyms
 can be learned and practised. It is undeniable to emphasise their slogan which is "The more effort we put in, the more we practise skill, the better we become".
Moreover
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 the samples of good sports
people
Use synonyms
, there are a plethora of
people
Use synonyms
 who become talented later in life.
For instance
Linking Words
, Bill Gates, the prominent entrepreneur, studied Computer Science for 10 years, but
then
Linking Words
 his decision tended to be a successful person in economy and marketing through the years. I firmly opine that Bill Gates is an evident example of
this
Linking Words
 notion, and clarifies that everything is possible if allowed to foster.
To conclude
Linking Words
, despite the belief that some qualities are inborn, it is unavoidable to point out that any child can be taught to become a good
sports person
Correct your spelling
sportsperson
show examples
. I drastically argue that being gifted is a challenge that can be obtained at every time of life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and logical structure, which leads to confusion. It's important to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs each with a single main idea, and a conclusion. Try to structure your essay more coherently, ensuring each paragraph flows logically to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion were present but lacked clarity. Make sure your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be better supported with specific examples or evidence. Develop each paragraph with one clear main argument and provide support for this argument to convince the reader of your viewpoint.
task achievement
The response completes the task but only to a minimal extent. The candidate needs to present more detailed ideas and arguments to fully cover the question prompt.
task achievement
The ideas presented are clear but not sufficiently developed. Aim to expand your points with more depth and detail to provide a comprehensive discussion.
task achievement
You've made attempts to give examples, but they are not always entirely relevant or specific enough. Try to include more detailed and pertinent examples to back up your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate abilities
  • genetic make-up
  • inherent aptitude
  • nurturing environment
  • rigorous training
  • proficient
  • initial advantage
  • consistent practice
  • perseverance
  • quality training
  • prodigies
  • dedication
  • long-term success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: