IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

#people #idea #school #person #parent #option #skill
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The idea of teaching every young person how to be a good
parent
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 in
schools
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 is intriguing, but I do not believe it should be mandatory.
While
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 the intention behind
this
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 suggestion is admirable, it may not be the most effective approach for several reasons.
Firstly
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, the
skills
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 needed to be a good
parent
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,
such
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 as empathy, patience, and communication, are often best developed through
life
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 experiences rather than formal
education
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. These are general
life
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skills
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 that everyone needs, not just parents.
While
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schools
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 can help foster these qualities, making parenting
education
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 compulsory might not be relevant for all
students
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. Not everyone will become a
parent
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, and those who do may not fully grasp these lessons until they are older and in a position to apply them.
Moreover
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,
schools
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 have limited time and resources, and the curriculum is already packed with essential subjects that prepare
students
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 for adult
life
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. Adding mandatory parenting classes could detract from other crucial areas,
such
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 as financial literacy, career readiness, and mental health
education
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, which are universally applicable. These subjects equip
students
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 with
skills
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 that are immediately useful, regardless of whether they choose to become parents. That said, the qualities that make someone a good
parent
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—strong communication, conflict resolution, emotional resilience, and responsibility—are important.
Schools
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 can introduce these concepts as part of broader
life
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skills
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education
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, but true understanding and application of these
skills
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 often come with maturity and real-
life
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 experience. In conclusion,
while
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 teaching parenting
skills
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 is valuable, it should not be a compulsory part of the school curriculum.
Instead
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,
schools
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 should focus on broader
life
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skills
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 that benefit all
students
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, helping them become well-rounded individuals capable of taking on various roles, including that of a
parent
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 if they choose.
Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on

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relevant specific examples
To strengthen the argument, consider including more specific examples that illustrate the benefits or drawbacks of teaching parenting skills in schools.
clear comprehensive ideas
While the essay is well-structured, further development of the second paragraph could enhance the clarity and depth of the argument. Mentioning how some life experiences are irreplaceable by formal education would elaborate on the point.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument, with both introduction and conclusion effectively summarizing the main points.
logical structure
The main points are logically organized and well-supported, demonstrating a coherent flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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