IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think it would be a good idea for school to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this option ? Describe the skill a person needs to be a good parent.

#people #idea #school #person #parent #option #skill
The idea of teaching every young person how to be a good
parent
 in
schools
 is intriguing, but I do not believe it should be mandatory.
While
 the intention behind
this
 suggestion is admirable, it may not be the most effective approach for several reasons.
Firstly
, the
skills
 needed to be a good
parent
,
such
 as empathy, patience, and communication, are often best developed through
life
 experiences rather than formal
education
. These are general
life
skills
 that everyone needs, not just parents.
While
schools
 can help foster these qualities, making parenting
education
 compulsory might not be relevant for all
students
. Not everyone will become a
parent
, and those who do may not fully grasp these lessons until they are older and in a position to apply them.
Moreover
,
schools
 have limited time and resources, and the curriculum is already packed with essential subjects that prepare
students
 for adult
life
. Adding mandatory parenting classes could detract from other crucial areas,
such
 as financial literacy, career readiness, and mental health
education
, which are universally applicable. These subjects equip
students
 with
skills
 that are immediately useful, regardless of whether they choose to become parents. That said, the qualities that make someone a good
parent
—strong communication, conflict resolution, emotional resilience, and responsibility—are important.
Schools
 can introduce these concepts as part of broader
life
skills
education
, but true understanding and application of these
skills
 often come with maturity and real-
life
 experience. In conclusion,
while
 teaching parenting
skills
 is valuable, it should not be a compulsory part of the school curriculum.
Instead
,
schools
 should focus on broader
life
skills
 that benefit all
students
, helping them become well-rounded individuals capable of taking on various roles, including that of a
parent
 if they choose.
Submitted by sanakalsi3736 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
To strengthen the argument, consider including more specific examples that illustrate the benefits or drawbacks of teaching parenting skills in schools.
clear comprehensive ideas
While the essay is well-structured, further development of the second paragraph could enhance the clarity and depth of the argument. Mentioning how some life experiences are irreplaceable by formal education would elaborate on the point.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument, with both introduction and conclusion effectively summarizing the main points.
logical structure
The main points are logically organized and well-supported, demonstrating a coherent flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: