IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that the best way to increase the road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #road #safety #age #cars
Nowadays, the issues connected to driving like car crashes and others, people think it's
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
Change preposition
by
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 the
drivers
Change to a genitive case
driver's
drivers'
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age
.
In
Change preposition
To
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 some
extend
Replace the word
extent
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 I agree, but I think it's not
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
reason
Correct article usage
a reason
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 accidents
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it's
also
due to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 drawbacks of drivers
such
 as having not enough experience or
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of knowledge. On the one hand, setting
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
 limit
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
age
Add an article
the age
show examples
 of drivers is a good way to
strenghtning
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 control over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic rules. Basically, youths in comparison with older are more tended to break rules and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be aware of the risks when driving. And they think that
this
 type of skills and behaviour when driving shows their personality.
Moreover
, teenagers lack driving experience and cannot predict urgent situations,
thus
 they tend to panic when
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dangerous issues
happening
Wrong verb form
happen
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 in
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
On the other hand
, driving at a young
age
 is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 factor, promoting the high possibilities of traffic. It
also
 claims that drunkenness and using
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
 phone
hwile
Correct your spelling
while
 driving are the two main reasons
leding
Correct your spelling
leading
 to the largest number of accidents.
Subsequently
, to improve road safety
the first step is
 to
introducting
Correct your spelling
introducing
 strict fines who
Correct subject-verb agreement
commit
show examples
commits
Correct subject-verb agreement
commit
show examples
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offences. The second step is to
imrove
Correct your spelling
improve
 the public transport quality
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it is better to use public transport so it
also
 leads to the
safing
Correct your spelling
saving
 the environment. In conclusion, I think it plays a high role
increasing
Change preposition
in increasing
show examples
 the
age
 limit
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
driver
Add an article
the driver
a driver
show examples
 in society which can provide us and their life
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 safety.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there are other rules we can add but in
myopinion
Correct your spelling
my opinion
 the most optional one is the
age
 limit and high fines.
Submitted by shahobhozratkulov on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and that the essay concludes by summarizing the argument and restating the position.
Logical Structure
Logical structure must be evident throughout the essay. Ideas should be organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic.
Supported Main Points
Expand on your main points by supporting them with specific examples or evidence.
Complete Response
Fully address the prompt by clearly articulating your extent of agreement or disagreement and provide more developed and extended arguments for your views.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify your ideas by expressing them in a comprehensive manner and avoid ambiguous statements. Try to elaborate on your ideas to make your points clearer.
Relevant Specific Examples
Include relevant and specific examples or evidence to back up your viewpoints which enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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