Write an essay about the main problems teenagers have in your country. Describe them, and explain their causes and suggest possible solutions.

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Teen age
Correct your spelling
Teenage
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should be a remarkable
time
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of
Change preposition
for
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anyone,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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teenagers
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seems
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seem
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to have a lot of problems
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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than joyful times. In my country, most
of
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apply
show examples
teenagers
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are in
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
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with academic pressure, choosing
post
Add a hyphen
post-education
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education
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programs and being influenced by
peers
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.
Firstly
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,
Teenagers
Use synonyms
are being pressured with their academic results by teachers and parents. They are expected to achieve high scores in
order
Use synonyms
to have a spot in
good
Add an article
a good
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college for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
post
Add a hyphen
post-education
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education
Use synonyms
.
Also
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,
teenagers
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are given a lot more
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
and
practices
Correct subject-verb agreement
practice
show examples
intensively to get themselves ready for the exams for graduation
as well as
Linking Words
for entering universities.
Therefore
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, students
at
Change preposition
in
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their
teen age
Correct your spelling
teenage
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usually attend tutoring classes almost
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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after school
time
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in various subjects
such
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as mathematics, literature, chemistry and English in
order
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to follow
with
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apply
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the school flow
as well as
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having
Wrong verb form
have
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good scores. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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,
teenagers
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spend most of their
time
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on academic purposes and have less
time
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on
Change preposition
for
show examples
leisure or
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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new skills.
Secondly
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,
teenagers
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especially
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
grade 12 struggle with choosing the majors for their higher
education
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.
This
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is because
teenagers
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lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
and guidance to explore their skills and passion in
order
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to select the right courses.
For instance
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, most
of
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apply
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teenagers
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will study the majors which are picked by their parents and popular in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, not
by
Change preposition
on
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their
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
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and dreams.
Thus
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, having
difficult
Add an article
a difficult
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time
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
finding suitable higher
education
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programs
putting
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
more pressure on
teenagers
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.
Last
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but not least, bad
infuencing
Correct your spelling
influence
from
peers
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is another problem of
teenagers
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.
In
Change preposition
During
show examples
this
Linking Words
time
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,
teenagers
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will pay a lot of
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
show examples
on
Change preposition
to
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their appearance and how others
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
them.
Therefore
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, they will be easily physically and emotionally
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by
peers
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. Giving example
of
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apply
show examples
teen boys like to impress teen girls by practicing smoking and drinking as they think that being a bad boy is more attractive, which may get them into
the
Correct article usage
apply
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drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug
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and alcohol abuse later in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In conclusion,
teenagers
Use synonyms
are being pressured with academic results and study
as well as
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bad experiences with
peers
Use synonyms
. They should have more
time
Use synonyms
on exploring
Change preposition
to explore
show examples
themselves with proper guidance in
order
Use synonyms
to
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
the right choices for their future study and
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by thanhvan230688 on

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task achievement
You addressed the topic of problems faced by teenagers, touching upon academic pressure, choice of post-education, and peer influence. However, to enhance your response, it's essential to expand on your ideas with more precise solutions and deeper analysis of the causes. Introduce specific measures that could alleviate academic pressure, counsel teenagers about educational choices, and counteract negative peer influence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a discernible overall progression; however, transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. To improve cohesion, consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices strategically to link ideas across and within paragraphs.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • competition
  • mental health
  • anxiety
  • depression
  • substance abuse
  • cyberbullying
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • unemployment
  • sexual education
  • reproductive health
  • societal expectations
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • isolation
  • support systems
  • awareness
  • balanced lifestyle
What to do next:
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