Write an essay about the main problems teenagers have in your country. Describe them, and explain their causes and suggest possible solutions.
Teen age
should be a remarkable Correct your spelling
Teenage
time
of
anyone, Change preposition
for
however
Add a comma
however,
teenagers
seems
to have a lot of problems Change the verb form
seem
more
than joyful times. In my country, most Correct quantifier usage
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
teenagers
are in troubles
with academic pressure, choosing Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
post
Add a hyphen
post-education
education
programs and being influenced by peers
.
Firstly
, Teenagers
are being pressured with their academic results by teachers and parents. They are expected to achieve high scores in order
to have a spot in good
college for Add an article
a good
thier
Correct your spelling
their
post
Add a hyphen
post-education
education
. Also
, teenagers
are given a lot more homeworks
and Correct your spelling
homework
practices
intensively to get themselves ready for the exams for graduation Correct subject-verb agreement
practice
as well as
for entering universities. Therefore
, students at
their Change preposition
in
teen age
usually attend tutoring classes almost Correct your spelling
teenage
everyday
after school Replace the word
every day
time
in various subjects such
as mathematics, literature, chemistry and English in order
to follow with
the school flow Change preposition
apply
as well as
having
good scores.
As Wrong verb form
have
the
Correct article usage
a
results
, Fix the agreement mistake
result
teenagers
spend most of their time
on academic purposes and have less time
on
leisure or Change preposition
for
learn
new skills.
Wrong verb form
learning
Secondly
, teenagers
especially at
grade 12 struggle with choosing the majors for their higher Change preposition
in
education
. This
is because teenagers
lack of
Remove the preposition
apply
time
and guidance to explore their skills and passion in order
to select the right courses. For instance
, most of
Change preposition
apply
teenagers
will study the majors which are picked by their parents and popular in the
society, not Correct article usage
apply
by
their Change preposition
on
strength
and dreams. Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
Thus
, having difficult
Add an article
a difficult
time
in
finding suitable higher Change preposition
apply
education
programs putting
more pressure on Wrong verb form
puts
teenagers
.
Last
but not least, bad infuencing
from Correct your spelling
influence
peers
is another problem of teenagers
. In
Change preposition
During
this
time
, teenagers
will pay a lot of attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
on
their appearance and how others Change preposition
to
seeing
them. Wrong verb form
see
Therefore
, they will be easily physically and emotionally effected
by Correct your spelling
affected
peers
. Giving example of
teen boys like to impress teen girls by practicing smoking and drinking as they think that being a bad boy is more attractive, which may get them into Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
drugs
and alcohol abuse later in their Fix the agreement mistake
drug
life
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
teenagers
are being pressured with academic results and study as well as
bad experiences with peers
. They should have more time
on exploring
themselves with proper guidance in Change preposition
to explore
order
to have
the right choices for their future study and Verb problem
make
career
.Fix the agreement mistake
careers
Submitted by thanhvan230688 on
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task achievement
You addressed the topic of problems faced by teenagers, touching upon academic pressure, choice of post-education, and peer influence. However, to enhance your response, it's essential to expand on your ideas with more precise solutions and deeper analysis of the causes. Introduce specific measures that could alleviate academic pressure, counsel teenagers about educational choices, and counteract negative peer influence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a discernible overall progression; however, transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother to enhance readability. To improve cohesion, consider employing a wider range of cohesive devices strategically to link ideas across and within paragraphs.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example