The bar chart illustrates the estimated number of visitors from three different realms to four places including Roma, Marid, Paris, and Liverpool in the year 2018.

The bar chart illustrates the estimated number of visitors from three different realms to four places including Roma, Marid, Paris, and Liverpool in the year 2018.
The bar chart provides information about Thailand's fitness membership rates for men and women from 1985 and 2015.
Overall
, the number of female
participants
experienced an upward trend;
whereas
the rate of male
members
showed a downward trend. Both genders showed some fluctuations. Despite the female membership rate was lower at the beginning of the
period
, it outraced the male
members
'
figure
at the end
of the
period
. From the information given, it is noticeable that the number of female
participants
was above 1000 in 1985, being lower than the male participation.
Then
, the
figure
showed a gradual increase to slightly under 3000
participants
in 2010 with some fluctuations.
At the end
of the
period
, the number of female
members
declined to 2000 and was higher than the male
participants
which were 1000 people.
On the other hand
, the
figure
for male
participants
was above 2000 at the beginning of the
period
.
Then
, it increased almost 100% in 1980 by showing the numbers around 4000
members
. In the next decade, it decreased gradually to around 2500 and 1800
participants
.
However
, the
figure
increased dramatically and reached its peak of 5000 people in 2010.
Finally
, it declined sharply
at the end
of the
period
by only 1000
members
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, members, period, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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