The bar chart illustrates the estimated number of visitors from three different realms to four places including Roma, Marid, Paris, and Liverpool in the year 2018.

The bar chart illustrates the estimated number of visitors from three different realms to four places including Roma, Marid, Paris, and Liverpool in the year 2018.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart illustrates the estimated number of visitors from three different realms to four places including Roma, Marid, Paris, and Liverpool in the year 2018.
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The bar chart provides information about Thailand's fitness membership rates for men and women from 1985 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of female
participants
Use synonyms
experienced an upward trend;
whereas
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the rate of male
members
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showed a downward trend. Both genders showed some fluctuations. Despite the female membership rate was lower at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
, it outraced the male
members
Use synonyms
'
figure
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at the end
Linking Words
of the
period
Use synonyms
. From the information given, it is noticeable that the number of female
participants
Use synonyms
was above 1000 in 1985, being lower than the male participation.
Then
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, the
figure
Use synonyms
showed a gradual increase to slightly under 3000
participants
Use synonyms
in 2010 with some fluctuations.
At the end
Linking Words
of the
period
Use synonyms
, the number of female
members
Use synonyms
declined to 2000 and was higher than the male
participants
Use synonyms
which were 1000 people.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
for male
participants
Use synonyms
was above 2000 at the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, it increased almost 100% in 1980 by showing the numbers around 4000
members
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. In the next decade, it decreased gradually to around 2500 and 1800
participants
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
figure
Use synonyms
increased dramatically and reached its peak of 5000 people in 2010.
Finally
Linking Words
, it declined sharply
at the end
Linking Words
of the
period
Use synonyms
by only 1000
members
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, members, period, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
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