The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to 

adult fish.
The
process
diagram depicts the life cycle of a
salmon
starting from
eggs
to a mature fish.
Overall
, there are seven steps
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
life cycle
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
salmon
staring
Correct your spelling
starting
show examples
from incubation and
ended up
Wrong verb form
ending
show examples
with
growth
and maturation.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, the
growth
and development of
salmon
divided
Add a missing verb
are divided
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three
environment
Change to a plural noun
environments
show examples
; river , estuary and ocean.
To begin
with, a group of adult fish
migration
Replace the word
migrate
show examples
to swamping areas to lay
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
eggs
in the river which
called
Add a missing verb
is called
show examples
incubation. A
matur
Correct your spelling
mature
salmon
can produce
hundred
Change the article
a hundred
show examples
eggs
in one
periodic
Replace the word
period
show examples
of their development. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
the incubation
eggs
emerge to become baby
salmon
. Afterwards, baby
salmon
develop and
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
freshwater rearing to
estabilish
Correct your spelling
establish
their life. Until
this
steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step
show examples
, all
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
take place in the river. The next
process
is in the estuary, in which a
salmon
growth
Replace the word
grows
show examples
to more
matur
Correct your spelling
mature
.
this
process
called
Add a missing verb
is called
show examples
etuary
Correct your spelling
estuary
early
rearing.
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, a
salmon
migration rearing area
inthe
Correct your spelling
in the
ocean after one or three months in
growth
in the rearing estuary. In the ocean a
salmon
gwroth
Correct your spelling
grows
and maturation to become a
dulth
Correct your spelling
adult
death
fish.
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
this
cyclus
Correct your spelling
cycle
will be
star
Add an article
a star
show examples
again to the first step
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, salmon, eggs, growth with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Salmon
  • Spawn
  • Egg
  • Alevin
  • Fry
  • Parr
  • Smolt
  • Freshwater
  • Saltwater
  • Adaptation
  • Physiological changes
  • Habitat
  • Predators
  • Survival
  • Ecosystem
  • Migratory patterns
  • Reproductive cycle
  • Environmental factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: