The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.

The diagram below shows the life cycle of a salmon, from egg to adult fish.
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The
process
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

diagram depicts the life cycle of a
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

starting from
eggs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to a mature fish.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are seven steps
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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Add an article
the

The noun phrase life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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life cycle
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

staring
Correct your spelling
starting

The word staring doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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from incubation and
ended up
Wrong verb form
ending

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb ended up. Consider changing it.

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with
growth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and maturation.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

The word Further more seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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, the
growth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and development of
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

divided
Add a missing verb
are divided

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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in
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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three
environment
Change to a plural noun
environments

The singular noun environment follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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; river , estuary and ocean.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, a group of adult fish
migration
Replace the word
migrate

The word migration doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to swamping areas to lay
them
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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eggs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the river which
called
Add a missing verb
is called

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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incubation. A
matur
Correct your spelling
mature

If you don’t want matur to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can produce
hundred
Change the article
a hundred

It appears that the phrase hundred does not contain the correct article usage. Consider using the indefinite article.

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eggs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in one
periodic
Replace the word
period

The word periodic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of their development. After
that
Add a comma
that,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase After that. Consider adding a comma.

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the incubation
eggs
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

emerge to become baby
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Afterwards, baby
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

develop and
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need

It seems that the verb needs does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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freshwater rearing to
estabilish
Correct your spelling
establish

If you don’t want estabilish to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

their life. Until
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

steps
Fix the agreement mistake
step

It seems that steps may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, all
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes

It seems that process may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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take place in the river. The next
process
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is in the estuary, in which a
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms
Use synonyms
growth
Replace the word
grows

The word growth doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to more
matur
Correct your spelling
mature

If you don’t want matur to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

process
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

called
Add a missing verb
is called

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
etuary
Correct your spelling
estuary
early

If you don’t want etuary to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

rearing.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore

The word Further more seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
, a
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

migration rearing area
inthe
Correct your spelling
in the

If you don’t want inthe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

ocean after one or three months in
growth
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the rearing estuary. In the ocean a
salmon
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gwroth
Correct your spelling
grows

If you don’t want gwroth to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

and maturation to become a
dulth
Correct your spelling
adult
death

If you don’t want dulth to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

fish.
Linking Words
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase finally. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

cyclus
Correct your spelling
cycle

If you don’t want cyclus to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

will be
star
Add an article
a star

The noun phrase star seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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again to the first step
Submitted by musa.nuwa on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, salmon, eggs, growth with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Salmon
  • Spawn
  • Egg
  • Alevin
  • Fry
  • Parr
  • Smolt
  • Freshwater
  • Saltwater
  • Adaptation
  • Physiological changes
  • Habitat
  • Predators
  • Survival
  • Ecosystem
  • Migratory patterns
  • Reproductive cycle
  • Environmental factors
What to do next:
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