Some people think companies should employ old people to work as they have a lot of working experience. Others, however, think it is better to recruit young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #companies #work

Although

having a lot of professional

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

, some

people

believe that

companies

should replace the old workers with the younger

people

. Meanwhile

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

others believe that

companies

should keep the

old

Fix the agreement mistake

older

show examples

generations

due to

the

Change the word

their

show examples

maturity and working

experience

. The following essay will discuss both points of view and present my point of view. Older

generations

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

maturity and leadership skills and it will

benefits

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

company

management. Some

companies

employed

Wrong verb form

employ

show examples

older

people

for leadership

role

Fix the agreement mistake

roles

show examples

so they can influence the

company

policy based on their

experience

and how they

reading

Wrong verb form

read

show examples

the situations.

For instance

, in some

economics

Replace the word

economic

show examples

problems, older

people

can control the situations with their

experience

companies

can manage the situations

with

Change preposition

show examples

the best possible way. Compared to the younger

generations

, they tend to do

experiments

Fix the agreement mistake

experiment

show examples

methods which is highly risk for the

company

's sustainability. Many others,

however

, believe that older

people

workers should be replaced by the younger

generations

as they are more productive. The younger

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

have better physical ability compared to the older

people

and they

also

could be better time by time.

For example

, most of the young

employee

Fix the agreement mistake

employees

show examples

working in

productions

Correct article usage

the productions

show examples

department as they are more

strenght

Correct your spelling

strength

and able to produce more work so the

compines

Correct your spelling

companies

can get better results. In conclusion,

while

older

people

have the maturity to lead

companies

, the younger

people

also

Add a missing verb

are also

show examples

needed

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

production

Correct article usage

a production

show examples

point of view. In my opinion, both

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

their own

streght

Correct your spelling

strengths

and they should be allocated in a

company

so they can get the balance between the

experience

wise and productivity aspects.

Submitted by ryanrush16 on Sun Dec 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph clearly conveys one central idea and that this idea is supported by specific examples or evidence. Try to use a variety of linking words to create a more cohesive argument.

task achievement

Enhance task achievement by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Make sure your argument is balanced, covers both views thoroughly, and provides specific examples for each perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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