Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?
Nowadays, environmental
damage
is a rising issue in many countries. Despite this
problem looking insoluble, there are ways to decrease the level of the
Correct article usage
apply
harm
to the environment caused by humanity.
The main causes of the environmental damage
are air and water pollution, which exacerbate
Correct subject-verb agreement
exacerbates
increase
global warming and Wrong verb form
increased
harm
marine life. The former issue is mainly caused by the carbon dioxide emissions from factories, planes and vehicles, which destroy the ozone layer of the Earth. Correct subject-verb agreement
harms
Subsequently
, the temperature on the planet rises, causing global warming, which is responsible for wildfires and extinction
of many species. Water pollution, in its turn, Correct article usage
the extinction
also
threatens animals, aquatic in this
case. By throwing garbage into the seas and oceans, humanity kills marine life and destroys whole ecosystems, which are almost impossible to be restored
.
The solutions to these problems lay mostly in people’s cooperation and Wrong verb form
restore
them
taking Correct pronoun usage
their
the
responsibility for all of the Correct article usage
apply
damage
they have ever done. First of all, humanity should raise awareness of the
environmental issues, so that more people become more conscious Correct article usage
apply
in
their actions. If more citizens start to lead an eco-friendly lifestyle, it will greatly help nature. Change preposition
of
This
type of lifestyle may for example
include sorting the waste and throwing it away only in specific trash banks and taking public transport more frequently instead
of using a private vehicle. The global
organisations should Correct article usage
Global
also
become more aware of the damage
they cause to the environment and
use more eco-friendly ways of doing business and Correct word choice
apply
creating
more programs by helping to clear Wrong verb form
create
nature
Correct article usage
the nature
from
the Change preposition
of
harm
that was
already done to it.
Taking everything into consideration, the main causes of environmental Verb problem
has
harm
such
as air and water pollution can be solved by people leading more eco-friendly lifestyles and by global enterprises being more responsible for their actions and aiding the environment restoration.Submitted by arinatiutina on
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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each paragraph focuses on one main idea and avoids redundancy. Making smooth transitions between points can also enhance logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present which is good. However, the conclusion could be enhanced by more explicitly summarizing the key points and reinforcing the stance or recommendation indicated in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Each supporting main point should be illustrated with clear, specific examples. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
task achievement
The response adequately addresses the prompt. However, to reach higher scores ensure that the response covers all aspects of the question comprehensively and in a balanced manner.
task achievement
Clearly structured ideas with a progression from introduction to conclusion are important, but achieving higher marks will also depend on the depth and the elaboration of the ideas presented.
task achievement
Adding more relevant, specific examples can provide evidence to your points and further demonstrate your understanding of the topic. Use them to substantiate your arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite