A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of Income. Unfortunately, tourism can be cause of lot of problem if its not well managed . What are the advantage and dis advantage in the modern world? Do you think advantage overweight the disadvantage .
This
report is derived from a line graph that illustrates the possible fluctuation in the percentage of 65 or older citizens from three countries (USA
, Sweden, Japan
) over one hundred years.
Generally speaking, the highest projection for Japan
is for 2040, while
the lowest pattern is between 1960 and approximately 1990. This
point is clear, and the USA
and Sweden describe a similar projection model in the plunge and peak points observed in 1940 and 2040 respectively.
Notably, the United States and Sweden’s population
percentages increased slightly by one percent
between 1940 and 1960, Change the spelling
per cent
while
they showed a significant rise of approximately five percent
from 1960 to 1980. Compared to the already mentioned pattern, Japanese citizens declined by nearly three Change the spelling
per cent
percent
between 1940 and 1960 and remained unchanged until 1980. Change the spelling
per cent
Additionally
, the USA
and Sweden experienced a gentle drop of approximately two percent
in 1980-2000, Change the spelling
per cent
while
Japan
’s population
increased markedly at the same rate.
With the 2000-2010 projection, both Japan
and Sweden’s population
numbers grew by five percent
Change the spelling
per cent
in contrast
to the USA
which constantly retained the number of citizens. By 2010, Japan
and the USA
’s population
patterns increased rapidly up to 2040, while
Sweden’s percentage declined considerably by three percent
until 2030 and performed a dramatic rise of seven Change the spelling
per cent
percent
up to 2040.Change the spelling
per cent
Submitted by qoncaagazade03 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion which are essential components of a well-structured response. An introductory sentence should set the stage for what the essay will discuss and a conclusion should summarize the main points made. Including these would greatly enhance the structure and comprehension of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While some logical structure is evident in the comparison of the countries' population changes over time, the ideas were not clearly linked together and transitions between them were weak. Consider using cohesive devices, such as conjunctions, pronouns, and lexical phrases, to improve the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported with specific data, but the support can be stronger. Make sure the data is explained in context, and how it supports your main point clearly. Use a variety of sentence structures to articulate these points more effectively.
task achievement
The response does not fully address the task prompt, which asks for advantages and disadvantages of tourism. The essay seems to be based on a different task, focusing on population age trends in various countries. To achieve a high score, it is crucial to address the prompt directly and comprehensively.
task achievement
Ideas are somewhat clear but not comprehensive due to the mismatch with the task prompt. Ensure that the essay directly responds to the question being asked and that ideas are fully developed in relation to the topic.
task achievement
The essay includes examples (statistical data about population trends), however, they are not relevant to the required topic of tourism and its impacts. Refer back to the prompt to ensure that examples are pertinent and illuminating with respect to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.