the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018
the line graph depicts the quantity of
closure
and Fix the agreement mistake
closures
openings
Change the noun form
opening
shops
during a seven years period in a particular country From 2011 to 2018.
AsChange preposition
of shops
apply
can be seen , the number of Verb problem
apply
shops
which were opened reached its peak in 2011 (about 8,500). The following year
the opening shops
experienced a deramatic
fall
(approximately by 4000). after 2012, the trend of openings increased gradually(from 4000 4, 6000). The opening saw another noticeable drop in 2015. (by 2000)
Correct your spelling
dramatic
Although
From 2015 to 2017, the number of closures Staged Steady
. (about 4000)In the Correct your spelling
stayed steady
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
last
recorded year
, 2018 had a further
fall.
Also
, from 2011 to 2014, the number of closures shops
Fleetented around (6000,7000), but in 2015 it reached the lowest Point over a period of seven year
. ( just under 1000)
Change to a plural noun
years
overall
, the figure for closed shops
remained stable between 2016 and 2018. (from 5ana to Gone). Incontrast, hewapend shops
indkuted a dunward treudin the Same Year
.Submitted by amirshajarizadeh on
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words shops, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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