IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The number of students who choose to study mathematics at university is low. Why do you think this is? What can be done about this situation?

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Nowadays, it seems that
students
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' interest in taking
mathematics
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 as their major at university has remained low. One possible explanation for
this
Linking Words
 situation is that they have been thinking that
mathematics
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 is a difficult
subject
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 to study since primary
school
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. The best solution for
this
Linking Words
 situation is for
teachers
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 to build
students
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' interest in
mathematics
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 since primary
school
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 by making classes more attractive.
Students
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' mindsets about
mathematics
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 have remained negative. They consider math a big scary thing because
instead
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 of making
mathematics
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 a fun
subject
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, most
teachers
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 have made
this
Linking Words
subject
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 a serious and boring
subject
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 since primary
school
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. It might be because
this
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subject
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 requires the full attention of
students
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 and high concentration in order to be understood.
For example
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,
students
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 love studying the arts because they can discuss and work in teams with their friends.
As a result
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, they found out that the arts are a fun
subject
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.
This
Linking Words
 situation can be achieved if
teachers
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 can change
students
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' mindsets about
mathematics
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 from a young age.
Teachers
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 can start by making the class attractive.
For example
Linking Words
,
teachers
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 can do classes outdoors so that
students
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 can feel a little bit more relaxed when studying math, or
teachers
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 can make study groups and build interesting discussions among
students
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. In conclusion, perhaps
students
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 have a low interest in
mathematics
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 because they believe that it has been a scary
subject
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 since they were young. The best solution is that
teachers
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 should play a role in changing
students
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' minds in primary
school
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 and making
this
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subject
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 attractive.

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coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your essay exhibits a satisfactory logical progression, with an introduction and conclusion present. However, the linking of ideas can be enhanced to improve the cohesion further. Compared to the standard required for as higher band score, the text needs to ensure that paragraphs flow and interconnect more effectively, with a clearer thread of discourse throughout.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, the response addresses the task and presents a clear position, but it requires development of ideas and could benefit from a wider range of specific examples or more depth in the argumentation. Overall, it broadly addresses the prompt but could be expanded upon to demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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