The tendency of news media to focus on problems and emergenciesrather than good news has a negative effect on individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
To some
extend
, I do feel that it does have some negative effects for Replace the word
extent
news
media to focus more on reporting problems and emergencies to the people
. However
, I don't feel that it necesarilly
has Correct your spelling
necessarily
severe
impact Add an article
a severe
the severe
to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
as a whole. Here are
the basis of my opinion.
It is true that some Change the verb form
is
people
may tend to be more tense, anxious, or nihilistic when consuming negative things
from their daily media. For example
, seeing or hearing about a school shooting will make anyone more anxious and frightened because it may happen around their neighbourhood. This
is of
course, a very rational response of fear, as it's our instinct helping us to keep us out of danger. The problem begins when Add the comma(s)
, of
people
start to become fixated over
the bad Change preposition
on
things
delivered on the news
. For example
, robbery, natural disasters, and other unfortunate events.
As mentioned, it is logical to want to know when and where the dangers can arise and wanting
to foresee them. But I believe, many of these unfortunate Wrong verb form
want
things
that may happen are, to some degree, unforeseeable. For example
, you won't know when there will be a public shooting at the mall or when and where an earthquake is going to happen. However
, there are things
that people
can still do to prevent and anticipate these events. We can take pre-caution
and learn what to do when these bad Correct your spelling
precautions
things
occur. For instance
, people
need to learn what should they immediately do when natural
disaster happens or what should they do and avoid Add an article
a natural
when
Rephrase
apply
a
number of active Correct article usage
the
shooting
Fix the agreement mistake
shootings
is
rising. Unnecessary verb
apply
Furthermore
, I also
believe that it's important to know and recognize the possibility of these occurances
. Yes, keeping an eye out is important but it's Correct your spelling
occurrences
also
unhealthy to be obsessed over the bad things
that may happen over the news
, as it may cause serious level
of anxiety and constant worry.
In conclusion, it is beneficial to the Fix the agreement mistake
levels
society
for news
media to report crimes, disasters, or other negative topics, as it helps the society
to understand the current state of the things
that are happening around them. However
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
should also
be educated and smart in handling these types of information, as overconsumption may lead to detriments in their mental health. As a society
, people
need to realize that obsessing over these unforeseeable events are
not healthy and that there are actions they can take for prevention and mitigation.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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task achievement
For task achievement, make sure your response directly addresses all parts of the question. Your opinion should be clear and consistent throughout the essay. Provide more specific examples that are directly linked to the prompt to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically and make your paragraphs flow smoothly. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. Also, ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more directly related to the question being asked.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite