the table below shows the result of a 20 year study into why adults in the UK attend arts events
The table depicts
a
research for a specific reason about the Remove the article
apply
dwellers
interest Change noun form
dweller's
dwellers'
about
art events in the 20 Change preposition
in
years
of
period.
To start with, Accompanying children have been Change preposition
apply
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
up
Change preposition
apply
noticable
. Correct your spelling
noticeably
Consequently
, 20 years
ago the proportion for this
was 9 percent which was quite low, however
today the proportion was
increased roughly 3 Verb problem
has
time
. Change to a plural noun
times
Moreover
, another growth up
showed Change preposition
apply
people
who came for business and work trip
, Fix the agreement mistake
trips
thus
back to 20 years
the rating was 6%, nonetheless
it Add a comma
nonetheless,
is gradually jump
to 11%.
Change the verb form
gradually jumps
On the other hand
, Some downword
Correct your spelling
downward
down word
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
also
showed. In today's society
9% of Add a comma
society,
people
attend for the special ocassion
and celebration. Correct your spelling
occasion
Although
20 yeaars
before the rates were 3 Correct your spelling
years
time
higher. Adults who desire to see specific Change to a plural noun
times
performer
or an artist had a Fix the agreement mistake
performers
steadly
fall. So Correct your spelling
steadily
steady
this
means people
go to the art competitions as frequenlt
as 20 Correct your spelling
frequently
frequent
years
before. Nothing changed dramatically.
From an Overall
perspective, Fix capitalization
overall
People
Change noun form
People's
interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
to
art events keep going to change which depends on the reason for that.Change preposition
in
Submitted by abdurahimov03 on
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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