Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

In many countries, university
fees
are expensive.
Hence
, several
students
hold
part-timetime
Correct your spelling
part-time
and
full-timetime
Correct your spelling
full-time
jobs in order to pay for their studies and
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
.
As a result
, those who seek a higher degree and work at the same
time
find it difficult to have enough
time
to study.
Furthermore
, the absence of
time
to study makes them get stressed.
This
essay intends to explain the reasons for
this
dynamic and some ways to solve it. It is known that several nations are in the lack of public free education, meaning that an individual is able to access higher education counting on having enough money.
Thus
, it is hard
going
Wrong verb form
to go
show examples
to
college
for those who are born in poor households since their families are unable to pay for the tuition
fees
.
Then
, it is understandable why a big portion of
students
look for jobs so as to get funds for their studies.
This
situation brings terrible effects on undergraduates provided that their mental health is affected
due to
the increased amount of hours working
instead
of studying.
For instance
, the United States is one example of a country with the absence of public free universities. In
this
country, several young citizens work during the evening and night as a way of earning money to pay
college
fees
, provoking high levels of exhaustion which prevent
students
from proper rest to study. Regulating tuition
fees
according to
the person's personal situation would be a great idea to tackle
this
problem.
This
means that every
time
an individual applies for either a bachelor's or a master's degree, he or she must submit a statement showing how much he or she earns.
Then
, the university will charge each student
according to
their funds. Those who earn less will pay less, and those who earn more will pay more.
This
way, the
students
will not have to work and suffer from health problems and will only focus on studying. Some countries, namely Italy, have applied
this
method for years. In the Italian peninsula,
while
students
with lower resources pay very low
fees
or they even go to
college
for free, young citizens in better positions pay
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher tuition.
As a result
, the education system is more equitable. In conclusion, the only way to go to
college
for a significant proportion of
students
in need is by working. Undoubtedly,
this
brings several issues
such
as lacking the
time
to prepare for exams,
as well as
mental health issues. It is necessary to evaluate how much money a person can pay for the university to generate different
fees
for each student depending on their personal situation.
Submitted by tamaracheroki on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main points of your essay. Your introduction should provide a strong foundation for your essay, and your conclusion should effectively summarise and conclude your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the task. Consider both the causes and solutions to the issues presented. Ensure that your ideas are developed sufficiently and supported with relevant examples or explanations.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and easily understood. Expand on your ideas to ensure that the reader comprehends the points you are making. Offer comprehensive explanations and avoid underdeveloped statements.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you offered one example relating to the United States, more varied and specific examples would strengthen your response and illustrate your points more convincingly.

Your opinion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial necessity
  • Tuition
  • Living costs
  • Employability
  • Work experience
  • Under pressure
  • Mismanagement
  • Time-management
  • Academic pursuits
  • Flexible part-time study
  • Financial aid
  • Scholarships
  • Bursaries
  • Collaboration
  • Integrated programs
  • Education
  • Work-life balance
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