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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey that sampled a cross section of travelers at a major metropolitan airport about the purpose of their trip. The survey was carried out during four different months in 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The table provides information about the outcome of a survey of
travelers'
Change the spelling
travellers'
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 reasons at a larger city airport, which was conducted for four different month period in 2002. It is clear from the table that the two things which were the most primary reasons for the trip were business and holiday;
whereas
Linking Words
 the category for visiting family and other were the lowest
reason
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. During March and September 2002, the rate of people going on business trips was the biggest among other purposes, which was 73% and 53%;
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of
travelers
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travellers
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 flying for holiday was the second largest
reason
Use synonyms
 with 18% and 31%. In June and December 2002, the
reason
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 for going on holiday was the highest rate than business, with 54% and 35%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the category for visiting family was the third main
reason
Use synonyms
 during the period with 6%, 13%, 11%, and 26%, and being higher than the category for
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reason with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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