IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts belive that it is better for children to begin learning a foriegn language at primary school rather than secondary school? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disaddvantage?

#experts #belive #children #foriegn #language #school #outweigh #disaddvantage
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that children should learn another
language
Use synonyms
 at primary school,
while
Linking Words
 others believe
that is
Linking Words
 better to wait until secondary school.
This
Linking Words
 essay will demonstrate why is crucial for
people
Use synonyms
 to learn a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 earlier rather than later. On one hand,
kids
Use synonyms
 can be negatively influenced by their parent’s desire
of having
Change preposition
to have
show examples
 their child
speaking
Wrong verb form
speak
show examples
 another
language
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays, more and more parents believe that English is essential for
people
Use synonyms
 to be able to travel around the world,
therefore
Linking Words
, they tend to wish that their
kids
Use synonyms
 can speak
this
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 so they can adapt to
this
Linking Words
 world’s new
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, they are too young to have their opinion heard, so they must
study
Use synonyms
 what their parents believe is important.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many advantages for those who start learning at primary school.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the earlier
people
Use synonyms
 start studying the easier it is to absorb the information,
kids
Use synonyms
 have faster learning
mechanism
Fix the agreement mistake
mechanisms
show examples
 than adolescents or adults.
Secondly
Linking Words
, our brain is a muscle, the earlier we start working on it the easier it gets to learn new information in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who already have studied another
language
Use synonyms
 growing up tend to learn any other additional
language
Use synonyms
 way faster than those who are starting on their second
language
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an advanced age.
Finally
Linking Words
, it broadens
Use synonyms
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
view
Correct subject-verb agreement
views
show examples
 to maybe
study
Use synonyms
 their diplomas in different countries where their second
language
Use synonyms
 is used. In conclusion, starting to
study
Use synonyms
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 might affect the kid’s decision of being able to opt to
study
Use synonyms
 their desired
language
Use synonyms
.
On the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
contrary,
show examples
 it can bring magnificent advantages to
people
Use synonyms
’s future
such
Linking Words
 as increasing their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
 to bigger opportunities outside their comfortable area.
Submitted by leandro-vs- on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that your essay maintains a clear position throughout in response to the question. Present a balanced discussion that weighs both advantages and disadvantages before arriving at a conclusion.
task achievement
Offer specific examples to illustrate your points. Avoid general statements and aim to provide clear examples that demonstrate your understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of paragraph structure; begin with a clear topic sentence, follow with supporting sentences that develop the idea, and conclude with a summary or transition to the next idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring a logical flow of ideas throughout your essay, making sure to use a range of cohesive devices effectively to maintain continuity and clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: