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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Social media is an essential part of young people’s lives nowadays, but its impact is often criticized. What are the advantages and disadvantages of social media in teenagers’ and young adults’ lives?

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In the digital age, social
media
Use synonyms
 has become an extremely popular form of communication. Some adults consider it
one
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 of the most important aspects of their lives.
However
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, the internet can
also
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 expose younger users to harmful content.
This
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 essay will explore both the benefits and drawbacks of social
media
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. On the
one
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 hand, there are numerous benefits that societies can gain from using social
media
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.
Firstly
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, it is
one
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 of the most powerful and important tools for various communities and industries.
For instance
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, it allows the exchange of large amounts of information, helps develop relationships, and facilitates global connections.
Furthermore
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,
one
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 of the biggest advantages of social
media
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 is that it aids in learning new skills and concepts. Many social
media
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 platforms allow people to study or work
while
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 connecting with instructors from home. Clearly, people can achieve their goals and dreams more effectively than in the past.
On the other hand
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, extensive use of the internet can lead to various difficulties.
For example
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, students, employees, and others often spend most of their time online, sitting in
one
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 place, leading to serious physical and mental health issues. Another disadvantage is that the internet can sometimes provide false or misleading information. Nowadays, children,
in particular
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, may access harmful content online.
As a result
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, both adults and teenagers may gather incorrect information.
Additionally
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, some children spend too much time on social
media
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, neglecting their homework and other responsibilities. In conclusion,
although
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 social
media
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 offers numerous advantages,
such
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 as solving problems and achieving goals more efficiently, it
also
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 has its drawbacks, including health issues, laziness, and other concerns.

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points clearly. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your ideas and make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Consider discussing how to balance the benefits and drawbacks, suggesting some solutions. This could make your response more complete.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the flow between paragraphs is smooth by using more transition words or phrases.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect your main points more cohesively to strengthen the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-written and effectively frame the essay.
task achievement
The essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of social media use among young people, fulfilling the task requirements satisfactorily.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally clear and supported, helping to create a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • peer connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • educational content
  • self-expression
  • cyberbullying
  • addiction
  • mental health issues
  • privacy concerns
  • identity theft
  • sleep patterns
  • digital space
  • social networking platforms
  • information access
  • creativity
  • self-expression
  • showcase talents
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