IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph shows the types of games people play in some country over a 7 year time period.

The graph shows the types of games people play in some country over a 7 year time period.
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The given line bar
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the percentage of Americans who
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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 video
games
Use synonyms
 and how much time
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
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used
Wrong verb form
use
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 per week between 2019 and 2021. The units are measured in percentage of
Use synonyms
American
Add an article
the American
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 population and average
of
Change preposition
apply
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hours
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the trend of playing
games
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
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fluctuative
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
hours
Use synonyms
 consumed
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased gradually
in
Change preposition
over
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 three years. In 2019, there were 73% of
American
Use synonyms
 people who playing
games
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
 trend experienced a slight
increased
Replace the word
increase
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 in 2020 at 79%.
However
Linking Words
, after
that
Add a comma
that,
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 the trend
were drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
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for
Change preposition
by
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 3% in 2021. Meanwhile, in 2019 the average
hours
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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used by
Use synonyms
american
Correct your spelling
Americans
 playing
games
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 12.7
hours
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 in
2020
Add a comma
2020,
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this
Linking Words
 number increased to 14.8
hours
Use synonyms
inline
Correct your spelling
in line
show examples
 with the growing number of
Use synonyms
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
show examples
 who
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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games
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 year.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 2021 time witnessed a rise
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 1.7
hours
Use synonyms
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 the population
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words games, american, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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