Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#companies #sponsor #sports #people

Numerous modern organizations employ a wide range of tactics, including the sponsorship of sporting

events

, in an effort to boost sales. There are others who believe that by advertising during athletic

events

, businesses are not only able to reach a wider audience

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

provide a platform for new participants. Though, the opinion shouldn't be formed until both sides have been weighed. Having a company's name associated with a sporting event is a great way to get the word out about a game, and it

also

allows firms to generate additional revenue. Reduced government support for some games has led to a decline in popularity.

This

means that when businesses invest in these games, spectators are much more likely to tune in. Because of

this

, the promotion of any activity will benefit.

Furthermore

, event sponsorship can help get knowledge about up-and-coming athletes.

However

, the bulk of corporations that host sporting

events

peddle low-quality goods and goods that are harmful to health. It's concerning that cigarette and alcohol companies use sporting

events

to promote their products, given the known dangers of these substances to human health.

Although

alcohol has been shown to have potentially toxic effects on the human body, companies like Kingfisher, which mostly supplies wine, are utilizing the popularity of sporting

events

to increase their profits. To recapitulate, one of the clear benefits of sponsoring sporting

events

is the opportunities it gives to up-and-coming athletes.

Nevertheless

, the unintended consequences of

such

publicity campaigns cannot be ignored. Regardless of institutions promoting sports for their own benefit, they still help spread the word about the athletic world.

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task achievement

The essay does not fully address the requirements of the task as it fails to discuss effectively both views and provide a clear personal opinion. The response is quite general and lacks development of ideas with specific examples and arguments.

coherence cohesion

The use of paragraphs is clear, but the logical sequencing of information needs improvement. Transitions between the ideas could be smoother to enhance the readability. Additionally, it is necessary to work on the introduction and conclusion to ensure that they adequately address the task and provide a summary of the main points discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think that it is a good thing, while others think that it has many disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In order to improve a country’s education system, high school students should be encouraged to publicly critique their teachers online. Do you agree with this? What are some other ways high school education could be improved

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government should make university education free for all students, regardless of their financial situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.