The table shows the obesity rate in one country over a period of time.

The table shows the obesity rate in one country over a period of time.
The line graph provides information on the proportion of obesity from 1971 to 2005, in one country.
Overall
, there was an upward trend of obesity rate for every
age
group
over the timeframe. The
age
group
of 30-40 remained fairly stable, until
rised
Correct your spelling
risen
raised
dramatically to slightly over 20.0
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in 1999 and remained rising slowly to reach approximately 25
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The groups of 45 - 64 and 65 - 74, both remain the same from 1971 to 1976, hovering at around less than 20%. In 1999 both
age
groups
Change noun form
groups'
group's
show examples
ratio
Fix the agreement mistake
ratios
show examples
increased sharply to 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The
age
group
above 64 showed a gradual
dicline
Correct your spelling
decline
in 2003 before it
leap
Wrong verb form
leapt
show examples
once again to 35% in 2005.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other hand, the
age
group
between 45 to 64 continued to grow to 40% in 2005.
However
, the younger
age
group
started with
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
fatness rate at less than 10% in 1971. In 1999 it
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
a significant growth to around 20%. It continued to rise modestly to reach 25% in 2005.
Submitted by asoom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: