Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Although
some are of the opinion that the
government
ought to be accountable for deterring crime, others think that it is the duty of individuals to safeguard themselves. In my opinion, I consider that the state plays an essential role in preventing crime from happening. On the one hand,
according to
some, it is the authority’s liability to combat misdeeds because the state has the power to deter criminals.
In other words
, the
government
should be strict with the offenders by giving harsh punishments,
such
as capital punishment, corporal punishment, and long custodial sentences.
This
will of course stop people from committing crimes since they know what the consequences are. In Malaysia,
for example
, the drug-related crime rate is low compared to other countries, namely the Philippines and Thailand,
due to
capital punishment .
Furthermore
, the public pays taxes to the
government
, and
therefore
, it is their right to get protection from the
government
in every aspect.
On the other hand
, many believe that it is individuals’ responsibility to protect themselves. One reason is that the
government
can only protect themselves when they are in the public areas. If they are at home, it is their responsibility to protect themselves.
For instance
, they have to ensure that their belongings are kept in a safe place
,
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and that their house is always locked in order to prevent thefts from entering, Another reason Is that in some instances, no one can be around to protect them,
hence
, they have to learn some skills that can help them.
To sum up
,
while
people may vary in their opinion. I think the responsibility of protected citizens should be on the governments.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Grammar
Ensure consistent use of pronouns to avoid confusion. For example, in 'the government can only protect themselves,' it should be 'itself' instead of 'themselves.'
Task Achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion of both viewpoints by elaborating equally on the opposing view.
Structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Content
Relevant examples, such as the situation in Malaysia, effectively support the main points.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes the writer’s opinion, adding coherence to the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsible for crime prevention
  • legislative power
  • trained personnel
  • public institutions
  • police force
  • judiciary
  • correctional facilities
  • maintain law and order
  • public good
  • personal accountability
  • self-defense measures
  • security systems
  • vigilant
  • community watch programs
  • education on personal security
  • empower individuals
  • reduce the risk of becoming victims of crime
  • synergistic approach
  • robust governmental measures
  • proactive steps
  • collaborative approach
  • foundation of security
  • aware and prepared citizenry
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