The aging population is good for business, the economy, and society. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many
people
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believe that elderly
people
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are beneficial for trading, finance, and community.
Whereas
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, others say that it harms marketing, the wealth system, and civilization.
Although
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it is advantageous because we have more experienced and educated
people
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with age. And
also
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give their time properly to their
work
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.
However
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, others say that it is disadvantageous and
consequently
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, will lead society toward unemployment, and
also
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great pressure on the government for pensions.
According to
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my perception, it is more beneficial if we give a
chance
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to a new generation to introduce themselves and prove themselves. I will discuss both views in detail in
this
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essay below. On one hand, a group of
people
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is in view that older individuals are fruitful to various systems
such
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as selling, accounting, and socializing. It is an undeniable fact that they are cream and they have gone through a lot and they know best which is good and bad because of their experience in different departments. They can take care of each sector properly as they devote themself to
work
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only and show a keen interest in it. There is less
chance
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of mistakes being committed because of experienced
people
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. Most of the old doctors are well experienced,
for example
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, they just diagnose the disease just by considering some symptoms
whereas
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young ones become confused most of the time and make blunders.
Secondly
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, they spend most of their time doing
work
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hence
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they easily give overtime as well to enhance the productivity in the business and in the money.
For instance
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, retired
people
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still want to do
work
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to reduce their laziness. On the flip side,
people
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who say that it harms our young generation like the rate of unemployment increases in most of the rustics just because of their old individuals. Young
people
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, like in Pakistan, are moving abroad because of fewer career opportunities.
Therefore
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, the young individual follows the wrong path by becoming demotivated and trying to commit suicide attempt.
In addition
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, it has
also
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pressured the government to pay heavy amounts to retirees so they face the crises of money. In conclusion,
although
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it is beneficial to have some experienced
people
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who have great knowledge of everything
along with
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that it is more advantageous to give a
chance
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to new members
also
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as they have new knowledge of the modern era and they are full of efficacy.
However
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, I believe that a
chance
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is given to fresher to prove themselves and take their society and making to the next level.
Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow within your paragraphs by using clear topic sentences and cohesive devices, as well as transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph and overall essay structure. Make sure your introduction clearly presents the essay topic and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and opinion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or data where appropriate to strengthen your argument and provide clear evidence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views comprehensively and stating your opinion clearly and consistently throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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