The aging population is good for business, the economy, and society. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many
people
believe that elderly people
are beneficial for trading, finance, and community. Whereas
, others say that it harms marketing, the wealth system, and civilization. Although
it is advantageous because we have more experienced and educated people
with age. And also
give their time properly to their work
. However
, others say that it is disadvantageous and consequently
, will lead society toward unemployment, and also
great pressure on the government for pensions. According to
my perception, it is more beneficial if we give a chance
to a new generation to introduce themselves and prove themselves. I will discuss both views in detail in this
essay below.
On one hand, a group of people
is in view that older individuals are fruitful to various systems such
as selling, accounting, and socializing. It is an undeniable fact that they are cream and they have gone through a lot and they know best which is good and bad because of their experience in different departments. They can take care of each sector properly as they devote themself to work
only and show a keen interest in it. There is less chance
of mistakes being committed because of experienced people
. Most of the old doctors are well experienced, for example
, they just diagnose the disease just by considering some symptoms whereas
young ones become confused most of the time and make blunders. Secondly
, they spend most of their time doing work
hence
they easily give overtime as well to enhance the productivity in the business and in the money. For instance
, retired people
still want to do work
to reduce their laziness.
On the flip side, people
who say that it harms our young generation like the rate of unemployment increases in most of the rustics just because of their old individuals. Young people
, like in Pakistan, are moving abroad because of fewer career opportunities. Therefore
, the young individual follows the wrong path by becoming demotivated and trying to commit suicide attempt. In addition
, it has also
pressured the government to pay heavy amounts to retirees so they face the crises of money.
In conclusion, although
it is beneficial to have some experienced people
who have great knowledge of everything along with
that it is more advantageous to give a chance
to new members also
as they have new knowledge of the modern era and they are full of efficacy. However
, I believe that a chance
is given to fresher to prove themselves and take their society and making to the next level.Submitted by aimenmalik2021 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical flow within your paragraphs by using clear topic sentences and cohesive devices, as well as transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph and overall essay structure. Make sure your introduction clearly presents the essay topic and your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and opinion.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or data where appropriate to strengthen your argument and provide clear evidence.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task by discussing both views comprehensively and stating your opinion clearly and consistently throughout the essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.