IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the bar chart below shows the total number of Olympic medals won by twelve different countries

the bar chart below shows the total number of Olympic medals won by twelve different countries
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The bar chart shows all the victories that countries have had since the beginning of the Olympic games. It is clear from the charts that the USA is the winner of the Olympic
medals
Use synonyms
. If we compare it to the rest of the nations, we can see that he has a total of 2300
medals
Use synonyms
, which is triple that of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries like the UK or France. Indeed, 900 of the
medals
Use synonyms
 won are gold. On
Correct article usage
the cn¡ontrary
show examples
cn¡ontrary
Correct your spelling
contrary
, in the
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 we can see that Japan is the loser of the games. Effectiveness, he has a very
little
Correct word choice
small
show examples
 number of
medals
Use synonyms
 won, in comparison with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 or France.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, nations like China or East Germany are not very far from his position.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we can say that the more the land is developed, the more his performance in the sportive sector is big. As we said, the USA had been victorious, and maybe
that is
Linking Words
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
because of his power. But China or Japan are
also
Linking Words
 lands with
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
important potential, but maybe not in
this
Linking Words
 kind of activities like sport.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words medals with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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