Some people think that it is necessary to learn about others countries. Other feel same can be learnt through TV and Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Undeniable learn new things related to other countries
that is
something interesting. Many people think it is important to visit some states in order to learn about them.
However
, others think it can be found on
TV
and the
Internet
.
This
essay will discuss both views, and I believe that
TV
and the
Internet
are able to be good choices for learning about other countries.
To begin
with, it could be true that to learn about some
region
Fix the agreement mistake
regions
show examples
,
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
must travel to the country to get more information about them because they are able to feel immediately the culture of the country when they were staying there.
For instance
,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
who have visited some states
such
as China, Spain, etc, and stayed there for several days will know about the daily activities of citizens,
such
as the habits, culture, language, traditional food etc.
Besides
, individuals who travel to other regions
also
gain unforgettable experiences because they are able to make relationships with local people.
On the other hand
, most people prefer to learn about other communities by watching
TV
or looking on the
Internet
because has several advantages.
Firstly
it is more efficient to learn by watching
TV
and
Internet
because It is able to decrease the cost of the journey.
For instance
, entity must spend their money to pay for the tickets and living costs when they live there.
Although
the cost can be allocated to the most important things
such
as education, life necessities, and saving for their future.
In addition
, it is able to save energy for individual, because they no need to go out of their house and only sit on the sofa to learn about other public lives. In conclusion, learning about other land by travel is better, despite it is more beneficial to learn by watching
TV
and the
Internet
because it is more efficient
due to
the economy and saving more energy.
Therefore
, most citizens choose the second statement which is able to allocate their money to another thing.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your points, making your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and clarity. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased and can be clearer with rephrasing. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is essential for a well-rounded argument in IELTS writing tasks.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and relate directly to the essay topic, which helps the reader understand your main points better.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: