IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What are the reasons behind this trend? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #trend #situation
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Recently, a rising number of professionals, like doctors and teachers,
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
moving
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
 to their own poorer states to
have
Verb problem
get
show examples
 a
job
Use synonyms
 in modern
countries
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because of looking for a better
job
Use synonyms
 opportunity and developing their own
work
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are some solutions that can be taken to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one of the reasons is looking for a better
job
Use synonyms
 opportunity.
in other words
Linking Words
, a lot of modern
countries
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 provide
features
Use synonyms
 for professional jobs,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors in terms of a higher salary, shorter time and more vacation days. Because of
this
Linking Words
 situation, some individuals choose to move to a modern
country
Use synonyms
 to get
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
better
work
Use synonyms
 opportunities.
secondly
Linking Words
, developing
workers
Use synonyms
'
skills
Use synonyms
 is one of the main reasons for that. One clear example,
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 some
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Yemen, it provides outstanding developed machines for doctors to use , which gives them a good opportunity to improve their own
skills
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
workers
Use synonyms
 moved to a developed
country
Use synonyms
, their own
skills
Use synonyms
 would be improved with it. First of all, some poorer
countries
Use synonyms
 can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem with
governments
Use synonyms
 providing good
features
Use synonyms
 for professional
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. To make it clear, if the government give special
job
Use synonyms
features
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as a great area for their
job
Use synonyms
 , they will not move to other
countries
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
, they will stuck with their
work
Use synonyms
 in their
country
Use synonyms
.
consequently
Linking Words
, some people would rather
work
Use synonyms
 in their
country
Use synonyms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
. The second solution is to pay attention to improving
workers
Use synonyms
'
skills
Use synonyms
 by
governments
Use synonyms
. To illustrate, when
governments
Use synonyms
 give them some free courses to improve their own
skills
Use synonyms
, they will get enough improvement in terms of
skills
Use synonyms
. So,
workers
Use synonyms
 will not look for getting more
skills
Use synonyms
 and move to other
countriescountry
Correct your spelling
countries
due to
Linking Words
 that.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Giving
Change preposition
by Giving
show examples
 them attention
Change preposition
to
show examples
the government
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
governments
Use synonyms
 should provide good
features
Use synonyms
 for professionals'
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
. If
governments
Use synonyms
 gave them
features
Use synonyms
, it would yield to them in a good way.
Submitted by asomm5563 on

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task achievement
Task Response: The essay attempts to address both parts of the question, but ideas are underdeveloped, and solutions proposed are somewhat repetitive and simplistic. To improve your score, ensure that you provide a more in-depth explanation of reasons and solutions, and that they are fully developed and extended with detailed support.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay's organizational structure is evident, but the logical sequencing of information is sometimes unclear, and there are issues with repetitions and the use of cohesive devices. To enhance your score, focus on varying your connectives and ensure that your paragraph structure clearly separates your ideas and provides a logical flow from one to the other.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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