International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

With the thriving development of transportation, travelling around the
world
has become easy and tourism has turned out to be one of the biggest
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
in the globe.
While
some people worry about the negative effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
local residents and their surroundings, I consider that international travelling leads to more positive indications than drawbacks. There is no denying that massive interactions of people from everywhere around the
world
may result in some damage to the local area. When the combination of different groups of people is becoming more complicated, crimes are more easily to be committed. Even
such
Correct word choice
if such
show examples
activities may not harm or
threathen
Correct your spelling
threaten
the lives of local residents, they can still violate some rules and
distrub
Correct your spelling
disturb
the order.
For example
, Thailand is the first
Aisan
Correct your spelling
Asian
country to
legailze
Correct your spelling
legalise
the usage of Cannabis for entertainment, which
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
enormous amounts of tourists around the
world
. How
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the local
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
has given concerns about
such
phonomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
due to
a
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
rate of
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
crime. Despite the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
it may have, global tourism can make a huge success
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
growth. Embracing international tourism means accepting a wider global market, which can bring more financial supplies and
thus
accumulate the foreign exchange of the country.
Also
, with a larger profitable market opened, more competitive business corporations will join in and provide better services in order to earn more profits.
This
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
an improvement
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
local business which is able to offer
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
products, services or performance. Fuji Rock musical festival in Japan,
for instance
, has become one of the most
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
international
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
due to
the support and
participaiton
Correct your spelling
participation
of music lovers around the
world
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
touring around the globe can
make
Verb problem
have
show examples
more positive effects
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the local environment, despite some concerns.
Submitted by yitsen210134 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. Provide a clear thesis statement.
supported main points
Develop main points more thoroughly with examples that convincingly support your argument.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that all sentences within it connect logically.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task, ensuring that your response covers both advantages and disadvantages adequately.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate your ideas to ensure a comprehensive discussion of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express ideas more precisely and enhance the overall readability.
relevant specific examples
Provide directly relevant examples to support your points, ensuring they are fully explained and linked to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: