Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

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In the contemporary era, there are an uncountable amount of ways to reach
destinantions
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destinations
destination
in professional life or to
achieved
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achieve
show examples
success
in science. More and more
people
have been trying to broaden
horizons
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their horizons
show examples
and
to
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apply
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enrich
outlooks
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their outlooks
show examples
day by day.
However
, it seems that for some of
them
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them,
show examples
the goals are not
comlicated
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complicated
and sometimes it
is not need
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does not need
show examples
to be a hardworking
person
to achieve what they
trully
Correct your spelling
truly
want. First and foremost, it is claimed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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real
success
is always associated with high salaries or ownership
high-valuable
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of high-valuable
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property. It seems that, to become
such
a
person
it
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one
show examples
needs to be
high
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highly
show examples
educated or to be a
top-specialist
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top specialist
show examples
in
the
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a
show examples
company, like Apple, Samsung or SpaceX. It is formally acknowledged that
,
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apply
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Ilon Mask, Steve Jobs or any other
person
from Forbes are
trully
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truly
successful
people
and they achieve
its
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their
show examples
accomplishmets
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accomplishments
accomplishment
through hard work, discipline and education. Having said that,
accomplisment
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accomplishment
can be defined not only in
financial
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the financial
show examples
stability aspect
,
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apply
show examples
but
also
as
success
contributing
a
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to a
show examples
society . There is
a clear-cut evidence
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clear-cut evidence
a piece of clear-cut evidence
a shred of clear-cut evidence
show examples
that,
people
who have taken part in charity,
voulonteer
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volunteer
work or
making
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made
show examples
a
cereer
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career
in public service have to be assessed as successful. From my perspective, I
am utterly believe
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utterly believe
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a
person
whose choice is to be a civil servant
are
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is
show examples
highly valued in society than all affluent
people
together
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apply
show examples
. In conclusion, there are many ways to achieve
a
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apply
show examples
success
in real life. It only depends on a personal viewpoint, in which area of modern life it has to be achieved and how it would be defined.
Submitted by roker123456 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay structure requires more clarity; it lacks a solid and discernible introduction, body, and conclusion. Aim to clearly introduce your topic, develop your ideas in separate paragraphs, and provide a summarizing conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between ideas is difficult to follow due to disorganized paragraphing and a lack of clear topic sentences. Ensure each paragraph has a main idea and that transitions between them are smooth to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
The main points in your essay are underdeveloped and require additional support through detailed examples and explanations. Expand on your ideas by giving concrete examples or citing evidence.
task achievement
The response to the essay question appears incomplete and partially developed. Consider addressing each part of the prompt thoroughly to provide a comprehensive answer.
task achievement
Your ideas are not fully clear and comprehensive. To improve, provide a more in-depth analysis of the concept of success and its different interpretations.
task achievement
Specific examples relevant to the topic are sparse or absent. Including personal, historical, or widely recognized examples can significantly strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
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