IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter explain why you need this time off give details of when you want this time off say who can do your work when you are away

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 email to request
time
Use synonyms
 off from my work for six weeks
due to
Linking Words
 an unexpected emergency situation. Please allow me to explain. The reason why I needed
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
 off is too personal as my immediate family member, my mother has been diagnosed with a serious health issue. My family needs my support and attention during
this
Linking Words
 critical
time
Use synonyms
 to take good care of her in the hospital. I would like to take leave for a period of six weeks, starting from Monday. I understand my responsibilities with the current projects that I am working on and I ensure a smooth transition to one of the capable team members before my vacation.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I will check my work emails regularly and I will be available to answer phone calls at any
time
Use synonyms
 in case of any issues or queries. I document all the important tasks that I have been working on so far and hand them over to Mr John who is capable of handling these tasks during my absence. I hope that you can understand my situation. Thank you for your
time
Use synonyms
 and consideration. Yours faithfully, Jee

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the letter can be improved by ensuring each paragraph has a clear focus and the transitions between paragraphs are smoother. Consider using more linking words and phrases to ensure the information flows more consistently.
coherence cohesion
It is essential to open and close your letter according to conventions. You have appropriately used a formal closing ('Yours faithfully'), but the opening ('Dear Sir') could be more personalized if you know the name of the employer. If not, consider 'Dear Sir/Madam' to maintain formality and be inclusive.
coherence cohesion
While you presented a single idea effectively in each paragraph, ensure that each of those ideas is fully expanded with adequate supporting details to enhance clarity and impact.
task achievement
You have generally addressed the task well by explaining the situation and specifying when you need the time off. To enhance your response, provide an exact date for when you plan to commence your leave and when you intend to return. Be more specific to increase the effectiveness of your request.
task achievement
To maintain a suitable tone for a formal letter, avoid informal language and contractions (e.g., 'I am' instead of 'I'm', 'do not' instead of 'don't'). Ensure the tone remains consistent throughout the letter; some areas require a more formal expression, especially when discussing responsibilities and professional commitments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • requesting time off
  • minimal disruption
  • capable colleague
  • cover responsibilities
  • workload management
  • urgent tasks
  • accessible
  • considering your request
  • contribute more effectively
  • appreciate
  • temporary absence
  • proactive planning
  • smooth transition
  • alternative arrangement
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