In many countries today, everyday necessities like food and petrol have become very expensive. What factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion, can/should be done about it?

In
this
present world, the consumption of
food
and
petrol
has become very expensive to fulfil everyday necessities. In my opinion, the primary reasons for these problems are
countries
failing to produce local products and lack of alternatives.
This
essay will explain what might caused
this
situation with relevant examples and what should be done to tackle
this
problem.
Firstly
, many
countries
who could not be independent to produce their own necessities might rely on their supply to other
countries
.
For example
,
at the end
of 2022, the
price
of Indonesian fertilizers surged when the Russia-Ukraine conflict occurred.
This
is because Russia stopped exporting their fertilizers to other
countries
and unfortunately, the majority of
Indonesia
Change noun form
Indonesia's
show examples
fertilizer was produced by Russia at that time, which led to the
price
volatile
Replace the word
volatility
show examples
dramatically.
As a consequence
, up until now, the fertilizer
price
in
Indonesia
remains expensive because
Indonesia
failed to balance their supply and demand.
Secondly
, lack of alternatives for certain
food
and
petrol
could be another reason why the
price
become very expensive.
For instance
, the type of fuel that most
Indonesian
Replace the word
Indonesians
show examples
consume is gasoline, which is not renewable. The production of gasoline keeps on decreasing each day because of the increase in
Indonesia
's population which could lead to
energy
scarcity. To suppress its demand, the
government
imposed a tax to secure the
energy
source because they did not have any option to substitute gasoline. In my opinion,
government
legislators should create persuasive regulations to solve
this
problem. As an illustration, the
government
could give endowment by creating a competition for young entrepreneurs
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have a vision and mission to address the relevance of imported goods. Another suggestion, in terms of protecting
energy
security,
government
should amend the regulation of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
energy
mix, especially for renewable
energy
, and subsidize their residents who use electric vehicles. In conclusion, the problem why
food
and
petrol
price
is increasing day by day in many
countries
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is because the
countries
might not be independent in producing their own products and failed to explore
food
and
petrol
substitutes. After a thorough analysis of
this
subject, it is predicted that
government
regulations play a pivotal role in arousing public awareness
such
as creating business competition endowments and supporting renewable
energy
vehicles by giving subsidization to their residents.
Submitted by dewifarraprasasya on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. While you provided a general overview, it could be made clearer and more concise.
coherence cohesion
Clearly outline the specific factors and your proposed solutions in the introduction to provide a roadmap for your discussions.
task achievement
Ensure ideas are fully developed with more comprehensive explanations and depth of analysis in the body paragraphs. Avoid presenting ideas superficially.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices to ensure clarity and continuity between sentences and paragraphs, but avoid overusing them which can disrupt the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Support main points with specific, relevant examples. The examples you provided are appropriate, but require more detail to fully illustrate the issues discussed.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points of your essay and restate your opinion. Work on making your conclusion more impactful and clearly reflective of the essay's content.
task achievement
Care should be taken with grammar and vocabulary choices to reduce errors that can sometimes hinder the clear understanding of your points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic instability
  • market dynamics
  • inflationary pressures
  • consumer spending
  • trade barriers
  • supply chain bottlenecks
  • subsistence goods
  • monetary policy
  • fiscal measures
  • socioeconomic impact
  • cost-effective alternatives
  • energy conservation
  • sustainable practices
  • agricultural yield
  • commodity prices
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