Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.
A number of people advocate that family has the most profound impact on adolescents. Others,
however
, claim the opposite, stating that friends outdo family members in this
contribution. From my perspective, I voice approval of the latter, in that I believe peers play an indispensable role throughout one's stage of maturity.
In the first place, it is undeniable that fellows generally come in closer contact with the young than do their parents or siblings. In other words
, by spending most of their day at school, teenagers embrace the opportunities to get along with
their schoolmates, thus
fostering mutual trust and intimacy among them over time. Hence
, their personality shapes under the influence of their friends, at the same time reflects whether or not it is a healthy friendship. For instance
, a large number of juvenile delinquents are talked into committing crimes or taking drugs by bad companies, while
the morally good ones flourish by gaining huge benefits from peer support and guidance.
What is more, there exist many other reasons for the close bond between young adults and their companions on a variety of grounds. That is
, those in the same age bracket tend to develop a sense of empathy when it comes to sharing or seeking advice from each other, which would not be the same for the relationship between adolescents and parents, which is sometimes hindered by the generation gap. Take, for example
, the case for many teen Facebook users is that they
are inclined to befriend their companions, Correct pronoun usage
who
while
on the other hand
ban
their parents from following them. Wrong verb form
banning
This
could be hazardous at times as teenagers would easily go out of control.
All things considered, fellows have proved their worth in having a significant influence on one's growth, be it mental or physical. Therefore
, I am supportive of the latter, consequently
placing emphasis on having trustworthy and true friends.Submitted by HongPhuc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
content
Provide more specific examples to support your points and strengthen the arguments.
structure
Ensure that each paragraph follows a clear and logical structure to improve coherence and cohesion.
vocabulary
Expand your range of vocabulary and use more varied and precise expressions to enhance your lexical resource.
grammar
Display a wider range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and varied sentence structures to improve grammatical range.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!