Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. Which approach do you think has more advantages? Are there any disadvantages to children having a school uniform?

#schools #school #uniforms #appearance #pupils #dress #code #approach #children #uniform

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Few educational institutes are stringent in following

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

uniform

Use synonyms

policies

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

affects

Change the verb form

affect

show examples

the

overall

Linking Words

appearance of the

students

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

Other institutes follow a more relaxed dress code. I believe wearing

school

Use synonyms

attire possesses more pros like equality among

students

Use synonyms

but in

this

Linking Words

essay, we will explore the topic and elaborate on why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. On the positive side,

School

Use synonyms

uniforms give a sense of equality to

students

Use synonyms

who are studying in that

school

Use synonyms

. During

school

Use synonyms

time they will have an increased concentration on their studies, rather than having a discussion about the kind of clothes an individual is wearing which

further

Linking Words

leads to discrimination based upon the family income and affects the psychological behavior of

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

. Another benefit is that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it helps in providing additional safety to the pupils. By wearing

school

Use synonyms

attire,

students

Use synonyms

can be uniquely spotted from far away distance which will lead to fewer chances of any misshaping because people will be closely observing them.

For example

Linking Words

, As per

comparative

Add an article

a comparative

the comparative

show examples

study conducted by

education

Add an article

the education

show examples

department of Europe,

students

Use synonyms

wearing

school

Use synonyms

uniforms are able to put sixty

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

more focus

Change preposition

show examples

their studies as compared to

students

Use synonyms

who come in casual clothes.

On the other hand

Linking Words

school

Use synonyms

attire has put an additional burden on

parents

Use synonyms

. In modern-day, schools force

parents

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to buy

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

uniform

Use synonyms

for their kids during the admission process itself from designated vendors which leads to more strain on

parents

Use synonyms

because they will sell a

uniform

Use synonyms

at an elevated price

however

Linking Words

, they can get the same

uniform

Use synonyms

at a competitive price. To illustrate, As per a survey conducted by leading

uniform

Use synonyms

sellers, from the past few years, post signing a contract to sell the uniforms of the leading institute, their profit margins have increased by forty per cent. In conclusion, In spite of having disadvantages like a financial burden on

parents

Use synonyms

, I believe wearing

school

Use synonyms

uniform

Use synonyms

will have numerous advantages like giving a sense of equality among

students

Use synonyms

and

Remove the article

apply

show examples

increased safety.

Submitted by sharma.ajaykumar2309 on Tue Dec 12 2023

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Task Achievement

For Task Achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the question comprehensively. While the essay does give an opinion on which approach has more advantages, it does not clearly discuss the disadvantages of children having a school uniform separate from the financial perspective. There is a need for a broader range of examples and exploration of the potential negative implications of uniforms on children's development, expression, and well-being.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, the essay has a reasonable logical structure, using paragraphs to break up the text, but the progression of ideas could be smoother. Transitions between ideas can be enhanced by using a variety of linking words and phrases. Additionally, it is important to ensure that pronoun reference is clear ('them' in the safety argument is a little ambiguous) and that points are made and explained within the same section for better cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code. Which approach do you think has more advantages? Are there any disadvantages to children having a school uniform?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?

In many countries, plastic containers have been more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?