Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

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These days, it is believed that

people

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of all ages are highly influenced by social media. Some proponents argue that there is a risk involved in sharing personal

details

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on social media websites. Though there are many advantages of

such

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practice, I believe that it has more disadvantages because of privacy

beaches

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breaches

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and the spread of information.

This

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essay will discuss both merits and demerits

as well as

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my opinion in detail with relevant examples. On the one hand, the main advantage of providing personal info on

such

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platforms is to connect with the masses belonging to the same demographics

such

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as age, gender,and location.

In other words

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people

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can leverage and use information from

such

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websites to find audiences who share the same interests and values.

As a result

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, they can make millions of connections which in turn influences them to be popular in the social circle.

For instance

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, the advertising business gains immense benefits based on the

details

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we share on social platforms.

Thus

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, they develop marketing campaigns to focus on certain age groups.

On the other hand

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, the major disadvantage is that it could cause privacy breaches and the spread of misinformation.

That is

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to say that personal

details

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can be used to misrepresent or create fake profiles in order to get access to their contacts.

Furthermore

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, the

details

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can be manipulated anywhere to hack bank-related information.

For example

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, a recent study shows that Facebook was hacked by cyber threats and the customer database was used to create fake profiles had alarmed everyone in the world.

As a result

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, many

people

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deleted their profiles from Facebook. In conclusion, there are many benefits in sharing personal info on social media websites to create relationships with like-minded

people

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however

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, I believe that the drawbacks in terms of risk associated with privacy and misrepresentation of data have become prevalent in

this

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digital age.

Hence

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, in my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

jeeanayTue Dec 12 2023

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Task Response

You should ensure that your introduction clearly paraphrases the question and outlines your position, which is done well in your essay. However, try to provide a more precise and direct thesis statement to enhance clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures and transitions to improve readability and flow. Consider using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.

Task Response

While you did provide examples, they could be further developed and more closely tied to the question prompt to highlight their relevance. Always ensure that examples are specific and directly related to the point you're making.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Because of the covid epidemic, many people prefer to work or study from home instead of going to their workplace or university

People in many countries are spending less time with their families. What are the reasons and effect of this?

It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts think that universal basic income only makes sense if it provides just enough to survive on so that people still need to work and earn money for living. To what extent do you agree?

Some people say that the Internet is making the world smaller by bringing people together. To what extent do you agree that the internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?