Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have a risk. Do you think that advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?
These days, it is believed that
people
of all ages are highly influenced by social media. Some proponents argue that there is a risk involved in sharing personal details
on social media websites. Though there are many advantages of such
practice, I believe that it has more disadvantages because of privacy beaches
and the spread of information. Correct your spelling
breaches
This
essay will discuss both merits and demerits as well as
my opinion in detail with relevant examples.
On the one hand, the main advantage of providing personal info on such
platforms is to connect with the masses belonging to the same demographics such
as age, gender,and location. In other words
, people
can leverage and use information from such
websites to find audiences who share the same interests and values. As a result
, they can make millions of connections which in turn influences them to be popular in the social circle. For instance
, the advertising business gains immense benefits based on the details
we share on social platforms. Thus
, they develop marketing campaigns to focus on certain age groups.
On the other hand
, the major disadvantage is that it could cause privacy breaches and the spread of misinformation. That is
to say that personal details
can be used to misrepresent or create fake profiles in order to get access to their contacts. Furthermore
, the details
can be manipulated anywhere to hack bank-related information. For example
, a recent study shows that Facebook was hacked by cyber threats and the customer database was used to create fake profiles had alarmed everyone in the world. As a result
, many people
deleted their profiles from Facebook.
In conclusion, there are many benefits in sharing personal info on social media websites to create relationships with like-minded people
, however
, I believe that the drawbacks in terms of risk associated with privacy and misrepresentation of data have become prevalent in this
digital age. Hence
, in my opinion, the disadvantages outweigh the advantages.Submitted by jeeanay on
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Task Response
You should ensure that your introduction clearly paraphrases the question and outlines your position, which is done well in your essay. However, try to provide a more precise and direct thesis statement to enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay could benefit from more varied sentence structures and transitions to improve readability and flow. Consider using a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
Task Response
While you did provide examples, they could be further developed and more closely tied to the question prompt to highlight their relevance. Always ensure that examples are specific and directly related to the point you're making.
