Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema.Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #films #phones #tablets #cinema

Now-a-days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

cinema is more essential for humans.Because it's

kind

Correct article usage

a kind

show examples

of treatment/relaxation for those who are

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffering

show examples

from stress.In

this

century,mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

tablets

are available for all

kind

Fix the agreement mistake

kinds

show examples

people

.In

last

Correct article usage

the last

show examples

century,

For watching

Change preposition

to watch

show examples

movies

people

used to go to

theatre

Add an article

the theatre

show examples

. Many

people

Add a verb

people are

people were

show examples

addicted

for

Change preposition

show examples

smartphones and

tablets

Now-a-days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

OTT released

movies

are available on

web

Correct article usage

the web

show examples

/OTT

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

.So in

this

case,We can watch

movies

,Short videos,songs and

webseries

Correct your spelling

web series

websites

through

smartphone

Correct article usage

a smartphone

show examples

or tablet.The Internet service providers are offered many OTT

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

/relevant

along with

mobile data recharge.

Due to

unlimited

Correct article usage

the unlimited

show examples

data pack,

people

maximum spent time

with

Change preposition

show examples

mobile

Correct pronoun usage

their mobile

show examples

.So

theatre

works mostly over.So It's saving time

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

instead

of going to

theatre

Add an article

the theatre

show examples

. Some of

other

Add an article

the other

show examples

people

said that to be fully enjoyed,films need to be seen in

cinema

Correct article usage

the cinema

show examples

Now-a-days

Correct the word

Nowadays

show examples

theatre

facilities are fully digitalized.The sound setting for

theatre

Correct article usage

the theatre

show examples

is surrounded by

dolby

Change the capitalization

Dolby

show examples

atmos technology and

also

Rephrase

apply

show examples

3D technology was upgraded.A/c seats are

also

available.And

canteen

Correct article usage

the canteen

show examples

facilities are well developed.So

people

like to watch

movies

theatre

Add an article

the theatre

a theatre

show examples

. In my point of

view

Add a comma

view,

show examples

both

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

and

theatre

Fix the agreement mistake

theatres

show examples

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

advantages to

watch

Wrong verb form

watching

show examples

movies

webseries

Correct your spelling

web series

,etc.But for thriller

movies

,It can affect health

while

watching in

theatre

.But the

3dimensional

Correct your spelling

3-dimensional

effects/technology

liked

Add a missing verb

is liked

show examples

more by

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

Compare

Wrong verb form

Compared

show examples

to smartphones or

tablets

While

watching in

theatre

Correct article usage

the theatre

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has more viewing experience.So both

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

viewing experience.But

while

watching in

theatre

Correct article usage

the theatre

show examples

,We have to spend more money compared to watching

Change preposition

show examples

smartphones or

tablets

Submitted by insighttribez on Tue Dec 12 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay lacks a clear organizational structure which makes it difficult to follow your arguments. Consider using clear paragraphing with topic sentences that introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences that elaborate on that idea.

task achievement

You have presented both views as the prompt requested, but your examples and explanations are limited and not fully developed. Your own opinion is also not clearly stated or elaborated on. Make sure to provide specific examples to support your points and clearly express and justify your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

223 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Convenience
Mobile Viewing
Cost-efficient
Time-efficient
Personalized experience
Immersive
Cinematic experience
Surround sound
Collective experience
Technical superiority
Sensory experience
Social hubs
Cultural events
Distractions
Preservation
Filmmaking art
Cinematographic nuances

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In contemporary era, there are numerous notable advancements in agriculture stemming from scientific research, particularly in the realms of chemical usage and genetic modifications of crops. While I acknowledge the significant benefits these scientific developments bring to global agriculture, such as enhanced crop resilience and reduced chemical dependency, we must also remain mindful of the potential consequences.
5
band
In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehickes outweigh the disadvantages.
Have you ever read about the passengers will be the exclusive users of vehicles? This is the new horizon for cars, buses and trucks "No Driver". It would be advantageous for companies and public transport in terms of reduce labour cost. However, in general it is a scary thing if any fault on the system occurs it will become into a tragedy. On this essay I will discuss how disadvantages outweight the advantages.
6.5
band
The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's society, the media plays a pivotal role in shaping public perception by reporting various news stories. There are compelling reasons to argue that the media should include more positive stories to create a balanced narrative. However, from my perspective, I absolutely disagree with this statement and believe that the reporting of extreme news, often perceived as bad news, has significant beneficial effects.
7
band
Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?
The deficiency of drinkable water resources is one of the most intimidating concerns in the contemporary world. Owing to this shortage, many nations have become vulnerable, falling short of supplying their people with fresh water, thus, resulting in humanitarian calamities. It is my contention that despite the ramifications of this issue being aggravated continuously, silver bullet solutions such as government regulations on water conservation and desalination of seawater.
4
band
Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether the authority ought to bear the cost for medical care and schooling. While some claim that it is essential for the state to make an investment in the healthcare system and the educational system, the opposite makes a statement that there is no consensus on whether it is held responsible to the governor. I would contend that the authority had better have a certain degree of accountability for the healthcare system and education systems.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Scientific developments in farming always bring major benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicle will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehickes outweigh the disadvantages.

The media should include more stories which report good news. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. What problems does this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?