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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Nowadays, consumers are less influenced by advertising than in the past. What do you think are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In today’s society, it is a noticeable phenomenon that people are influenced by advertising less and less in their consuming habits compared with before. In my opinion, I firmly believe
this
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 trend is a positive development. The reasons for
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 trend could be manifold.
Firstly
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, the increased consumer rationality makes consumers think more before they place an order. Nowadays people prefer to choose products based on their quality and practical use rather than relying on advertising alone. They tend to shop around, comparing prices and features to find the best value for their money.
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, consumers pay more attention to the product's reputation and users’ reviews and
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, not be manipulated by advertising like before.
For example
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, when a consumer is considering buying a new smartphone, he or she might search online shopping platforms or social media to see feedback from
other customer
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another customer
other customers
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 rather than placing an order based on advertisements alone.
Secondly
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, People’s consumption habits have changed. Thanks to the prevalence of the internet and social media, people have more opportunities to access product information, which has become more transparent.
This
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 has led to less reliance on traditional advertising. I perceive
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 situation as a positive development. On the consumer level, rational consumption will reduce the waste of resources. Choosing products that better meet
buyer
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buyers
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’ needs will save resources in the long run. On the manufacturer’s level, the precision of internet-based recommendations could reshape the advertisement model. Manufacturers no longer need to invest huge amounts of money in traditional advertising to attract customers.
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, they can prioritize enhancing the quality and researching the development of their product.
Therefore
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, it is a win-win situation for both
customer
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customers
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 and manufacturers. In conclusion, I hold the view that
this
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 represents a favourable and encouraging trend, one that bears the potential to bring about numerous constructive outcomes.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical flow to your essay. The essay has a satisfactory logical structure but could be elevated by making smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion are present; however, they can be enhanced by making them more impactful with clearer thesis statements and summaries of points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The main points are adequately supported with explanations; to improve, include more detailed examples or data to back up your points for a more convincing argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task well by identifying the reasons for reduced influence of advertising and evaluating the development. Nevertheless, the response could be more comprehensive by addressing potential drawbacks as well, to present a balanced view.
task achievement
The ideas are clear and generally comprehensive; however, they should be elaborated with more depth, especially in regards to the potential complexities of the subject matter.
task achievement
Include more specific and varied examples to better illustrate your points, as they add credibility to your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
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