Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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There are two different perspectives towards unsatisfactory conditions in the workplace. A group of people believe that accepting
this situations
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
is ideal. Others
opines
Change the verb form
opine
show examples
that they ought to strive to ameliorate the bad situation and
moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
up the
career
ladders
Fix the agreement mistake
ladder
show examples
. I firmly agree with the second opinion as it is quintessential to try to improve our
career
. In the following essay, I am going to analyze both views. To commence with,
according to
the first opinion, a part of society, especially elderly people, whom some stated in their religion that they need to show
patient
Replace the word
patience
show examples
in difficult conditions of life, believes that if we have hired in a
job
, we should be satisfied with it and accepting its ups and downs as it is a part of the
job
itself that we wanted to have without any complainings.
While
it is true in some circumstances
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sometimes you need to be patient and show mercy to some obnoxious customers if you want to retain your
career
.
However
, every company has a liability to explain completely their
requirments
Correct your spelling
requirements
and situations to employees.
Therefore
, if one person achieves eligibility,
then
he should endure it with passion. Turning to the other side of the argument, all workers have a right to improve their
career
or leave the
job
if they are not satisfied enough with it to be prosperous in their lives.
In other words
, the laws
eneble
Correct your spelling
enable
people to refuse
such
items, which are not
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
. To cite an example, keeping good relationships with managers is crucial in the workplace.
Whereas
Correct word choice
However
show examples
it's not always provided for some workers and may affect negatively their performances. In conclusion,
although
it is paramount to be patient and accountable in
office
Correct article usage
the office
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and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
our duties loyally,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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we
absoloutly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
need to improve our
job
position or even leave it if
feeling
Wrong verb form
we feel
show examples
unsatisfied and start doing another one.
Submitted by sarina.chenare78 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, make sure your essay contains a clear introduction, at least two body paragraphs discussing each view separately, and a cohesive conclusion that restates your stance. Use transitional phrases to effectively connect your sentences and paragraphs for a more seamless flow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. Ensure your introduction sets the stage for the discussion by clearly stating the two views and your opinion. In your conclusion, re-emphasize your stance without introducing new information, bringing your essay to a concise and persuasive close.
task achievement
Main points are identified but require better support with more concrete examples and evidence. Specific examples are used but could be more relevant and detailed. Develop your arguments by citing studies, statistics, or real-life scenarios that directly relate to the topic. This will provide more weight to your claims and improve the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
To fully address the task, you need to explore both views equally and present a clear, consistent opinion throughout the essay, supported by reasoning and examples. Your ideas need to be expressed clearly and explained comprehensively, ensuring your personal stance is woven into the discussion of both views.
task achievement
Avoid grammatical errors and informal language, which can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Proofread your work before submission to correct any mistakes.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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