Some people believe extreme sports are dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, an increasing number of people think that extreme
sports
pose risks and ought to be prohibited. In my opinion, although
acknowledging the potential risks of extreme sports
, a complete prohibition is not warranted.
It is beyond doubt that some extreme sports
could pose threats to people’s safety. Firstly
, these kinds of activities are usually harmful to their health. Extreme sports
are often conducted under harsh conditions, and people who enjoy doing them tend to challenge their physical limits, which may be detrimental to their bodies. For example
, free diving requires athletes
to go under the ocean up to 100 meters, which means their lungs will be under tremendous pressure and could be severely damaged. Secondly
, their family members would be worried for them while
Correct word choice
when
athletes
attend such
activities. A tiny mistake could lead to an irreversible tragedy, and their families will suffer a huge loss. Therefore
, it is undeniable that extreme sports
may put people’s lives into dangerous situations.
However
, taking into account the aforementioned viewpoints does not necessarily yield an absolute conclusion that extreme sports
should be prohibited altogether. Naturally, human beings tend to take up challenges while
they are seeking progress. Some athletes
are excited by pushing their limits to pursue personal growth and go beyond themselves. With implementing “No pain no gain” as their life motto, there are no reasons to stop them. By considering safety measures in such
sports
and being prepared to prevent athletes
from injuries, it is thrilling to see them go faster and stronger to conquer nature, such
as snowboarding, free diving, and rock climbing. Therefore
, it is unnecessary to ban all extreme sports
.
In conclusion, it holds true that extreme sports
could be threatening to people’s lives. However
, it does not inherently guarantee an indisputable view that we should stop these activities.Submitted by yangx on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical structure of your essay by having clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and following them up with supporting sentences that develop the argument coherently.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay. The introduction should paraphrase the question and state your position clearly, while the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Support your points with precise examples. Although you mention examples like free diving and snowboarding, further elaboration on these examples would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure you directly address the question throughout the essay and stay on topic. Reiterate your stance in relation to the extent of your agreement or disagreement throughout, not just at the beginning and end.
task achievement
Use clear and comprehensive ideas in each paragraph, avoiding overly general statements. Each paragraph should contain one clear main idea and a detailed development of that idea.
task achievement
Include more relevant specific examples to support your opinions. While general statements have been given, the inclusion of specific, detailed examples would reinforce the points made and make the arguments more persuasive.