Many people live in towns and cities where there are museums that promote historical and artistic objects of cultural importance, but they don't visit them. Why do you think many people don't visit museums? What is the cultural importance of museums to society?

Monument
Fix the agreement mistake
Monuments
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and
museum
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museums
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are the pride of each and every nation
due to
the historical related. But people do not
visit
these
places
even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are living in the same cities the main reason is that they expect
fun
and entertainment in all
places
and
museums
can protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vital
objects
and rare
objects
.
This
essay shall discuss it briefly
in
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for
show examples
the following reasons.
In these
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These
show examples
days, people do not like to
visit
museums
because they want more
entertainments
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entertainment
show examples
instead
of seeing the ancestor's
periods
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period
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objects
and narratives.
Internet
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The Internet
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brings all
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
along with
realistic
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a realistic
the realistic
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picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
and videos about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical
places
,
therefore
, they can see wherever and they do not need to
visit
directly. Recreational amenities are located
many
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in many
show examples
places
in cities, so, people like to spend their time in these
loactions
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locations
only rather than the cultural
places
in order to they can get more
fun
with their loved ones.
For example
, some
museums
are provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
free entrance even though folks
are not interest
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are not interested
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to explore
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in exploring
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it
besides
they are ready to pay the fees for
fun
Add an article
the fun
a fun
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park because it provides more
fun
and adventures. The historical
places
can
safe
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save
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and protect the rare
objects
and traditional
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
in
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apply
show examples
under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one roof in order to these things could be
pritected
Correct your spelling
protected
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
damage and
thieft
Correct your spelling
theft
.
Museums
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant
places
to protect our ancestor's things,
as a result
,
this
can help for research, culture and tradition could be saved through the historical buildings. For
instane
Correct your spelling
instance
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
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rare lion's bone
was
Wrong verb form
is
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found in any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
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then
that object can keep in
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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for research
purpose
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purposes
show examples
as well as
it should be protected for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
next generation might be known about all
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
through
this
.
To conclude
, folks
are not interest
Change the verb form
are not interested
show examples
to
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in visiting
show examples
visit
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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and cultural
places
because they want more entertainment and
fun
factors. The
unuseal
Correct your spelling
unusual
objects
and traditional based on things should be protected by the
museums
and historical
places
in order
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
this
cannnot
Correct your spelling
cannot
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting the main topics and summarizing the key points respectively. The current essay lacks a succinct thesis statement and conclusive summary.
coherence cohesion
Develop a logical structure with clear progression of ideas. Use paragraphs effectively, each discussing a separate idea with appropriate supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. Abstract statements should be supported by specific instances or data to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Expand on the cultural importance of museums to society, as the essay does not entirely cover this aspect of the prompt.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas. Generally, the ideas should be well-explained, but more depth and analysis are expected to thoroughly cover the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Use a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures with adequate precision. Avoid grammatical errors and ensure correct word choices.

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