Many people live in towns and cities where there are museums that promote historical and artistic objects of cultural importance, but they don't visit them. Why do you think many people don't visit museums? What is the cultural importance of museums to society?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Monument
Fix the agreement mistake
Monuments
show examples
and
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
are the pride of each and every nation
due to
the historical related. But people do not
visit
these
places
even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are living in the same cities the main reason is that they expect
fun
and entertainment in all
places
and
museums
can protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vital
objects
and rare
objects
.
This
essay shall discuss it briefly
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
the following reasons.
In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days, people do not like to
visit
museums
because they want more
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
instead
of seeing the ancestor's
periods
Change the noun form
period
show examples
objects
and narratives.
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
brings all
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
along with
realistic
Add an article
a realistic
the realistic
show examples
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
and videos about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
historical
places
,
therefore
, they can see wherever and they do not need to
visit
directly. Recreational amenities are located
many
Change preposition
in many
show examples
places
in cities, so, people like to spend their time in these
loactions
Correct your spelling
locations
only rather than the cultural
places
in order to they can get more
fun
with their loved ones.
For example
, some
museums
are provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
free entrance even though folks
are not interest
Change the verb form
are not interested
show examples
to explore
Change preposition
in exploring
show examples
it
besides
they are ready to pay the fees for
fun
Add an article
the fun
a fun
show examples
park because it provides more
fun
and adventures. The historical
places
can
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
and protect the rare
objects
and traditional
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one roof in order to these things could be
pritected
Correct your spelling
protected
from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
damage and
thieft
Correct your spelling
theft
.
Museums
are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant
places
to protect our ancestor's things,
as a result
,
this
can help for research, culture and tradition could be saved through the historical buildings. For
instane
Correct your spelling
instance
,
a
Correct word choice
if a
show examples
rare lion's bone
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
found in any
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
then
that object can keep in
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
for research
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
as well as
it should be protected for
our
Change the word
the
show examples
next generation might be known about all
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
through
this
.
To conclude
, folks
are not interest
Change the verb form
are not interested
show examples
to
Change preposition
in visiting
show examples
visit
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
and cultural
places
because they want more entertainment and
fun
factors. The
unuseal
Correct your spelling
unusual
objects
and traditional based on things should be protected by the
museums
and historical
places
in order
to
Change preposition
for to
show examples
this
cannnot
Correct your spelling
cannot
existed
Wrong verb form
exist
show examples
.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion, presenting the main topics and summarizing the key points respectively. The current essay lacks a succinct thesis statement and conclusive summary.
coherence cohesion
Develop a logical structure with clear progression of ideas. Use paragraphs effectively, each discussing a separate idea with appropriate supporting sentences.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples. Abstract statements should be supported by specific instances or data to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Expand on the cultural importance of museums to society, as the essay does not entirely cover this aspect of the prompt.
task achievement
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas. Generally, the ideas should be well-explained, but more depth and analysis are expected to thoroughly cover the topic at hand.
coherence cohesion
Use a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures with adequate precision. Avoid grammatical errors and ensure correct word choices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: