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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion. Give a reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge & experience.

#people #children #home #child’s #development #school #methods #reason
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One of the most debatable topics of
this
 century is whether educating kids at home is beneficial over sending them to early childhood educational institutions. Many arguments have been made for and against each of these issues. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both methods and will state my position. On one hand, teaching children at home has become less complicated
due to
 technology in the modern century.
For example
, teaching materials, interactive classrooms and tutorials can be conducted online
along with
 the presence of parents. Parent has a deeper understanding of their children which could allow them to detect and improve applicable life
skills
 that are necessary for the execution of a task
instead
 of memorizing data just to pass an exam.
On the other hand
, there are a few advantages of sending kids to school.
For example
, humans as a cooperating species,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 is very important to learn social
skills
 at an early age which includes solving tasks as a team, sharing food, and interacting with people from different backgrounds will improve tolerance and respect towards each other and develop leadership
skills
.
In addition
, preparing to reach their institutions on time will help them to be punctual as adults. In conclusion, both these instances have their own advantages.
However
, sending to school will help to gain intellectual information and social
skills
 which could help the person to develop into a compassionate and intelligent human in the future.
Submitted by onlineconsumer on

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coherence and cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but the introduction could be further refined to outline the essay’s structure more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph discusses relevant points, but the transitions between them could be smoother to enhance the flow of ideas. Use linking words such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', or 'On the contrary' to improve cohesion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question adequately, but some points could be elaborated further. Adding more specific examples to illustrate each method's advantages would strengthen the task response.
task achievement
Avoid vague phrases like 'necessary for the execution of a task'. Be more precise to enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines the debate and provides a balanced discussion of both homeschooling and traditional schooling.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and clearly presents the writer's opinion, leaving a strong final impression.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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