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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is problem what are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem.

#cities #towns #world #volume #traffic #actions
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No doubt, nowadays, individuals are facing
traffic
 problems in both modern cities
as well as
 in town.
Therefore
, there are a number of causes and solutions behind
this
 tendency which I will hash out in the
further
 paragraphs. For a start, several factors are associated with it, but the main one is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the volume of
traffic
 is increasing at an alarming rate
due to
 the lack of infrastructure development and limited alternative roads. To explain, all over the world
people
 face difficulties in travelling from one place to another
due to
 the poor maintenance of roads because when rainfall comes all the water is logged out on the road with
this
people
 prefer to slow their vehicle speed which leads to
traffic
 jams in the running cities.
Moreover
, in
this
 21st century, the masses earn a high amount of income from their workplaces which allow them to afford their personal cars
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 it is a cultural preference to show a symbol of richness to other
people
 which
also
 promote
traffic
 jam. Moving
further
, there are a number of actions which can be taken to solve
this
 problem.
Firstly
, if government take strict action to use public transport the problem could be solved to some extent.
Secondly
, higher authorities
also
 invest some amount of money in cycling or walking infrastructure and promote cycling for a healthier lifestyle and eco-friendly travel options the problem could be solved.
For instance
, a survey conducted concluded that 85 per cent of Korean residents are healthier because of following cycling exercises as compared with other countries.
Lastly
, the government should
also
 charge a fine to individuals to discourage unnecessary car usage.
To conclude
,
although
 nowadays in the nation the volume of
traffic
 is increasing,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it could be solved if
people
 adopt
traffic
 management systems that use technology to optimise
traffic
 flow.
Submitted by svmaibcamaibs on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly paraphrases the prompt and your conclusion effectively summarises your main points without introducing new ideas.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear logical structure for your essay with distinct paragraphs, each one focusing on a separate main idea, supported by specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
Always back up your main points with relevant, specific examples or evidence to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Stay on topic and make sure each sentence contributes to the task response. Avoid deviating from the main subject and ensure full task achievement by directly addressing all parts of the prompt in a well-organized manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • urbanization
  • car ownership
  • public transportation
  • carpooling
  • cycling infrastructure
  • congestion pricing
  • population growth
  • commute
  • sustainable transport
  • traffic management
  • ride-sharing
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