In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

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Possessing a house is considered an essential achievement in people's lives as a symbol of success and stability. In

this

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essay, I will explore the reasons behind

this

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phenomenon

as well as

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discuss my own perspectives regarding why it can be seen as a negative trend.

To begin

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with, the primary impetus for people to own a house is that it provides a sense of independence. Renting a room can often be restricted as any

further

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impairments or decorations made in a room require permission from the landlord first.

For example

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, though the tenants wish to demolish the kitchen and merge it with the living room, they cannot proceed with the plan without compliance from the owner. Another aspect is for financial investments and asset purposes. Over time, most real estate tends to appreciate in value, meaning that the owners can enjoy a profit received from the sale of the estate.

In contrast

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, if you rent a place where the ownership is up to the lessor, it means you cannot earn any benefit derived from the increase in value of that land.

However

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, in my opinion, overemphasis on home ownership creates more financial burdens for individuals. In certain countries,

for instance

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, there is a social value that adults should own and purchase a home to prepare for starting a family.

Consequently

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, it hugely limits their financial flexibility and increases the risk of insolvency if they cannot manage their income well.

To conclude

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, apart from being an ultimate goal of many people, owning a house

also

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provides landlords with freedom and investments.

Nevertheless

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, I am completely convinced that individuals should not be pressured to buy a home since it eventually causes several unfavourable

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atikan17042547Tue Dec 12 2023

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Coherence and Cohesion

The essay provides a basic structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, which garners a middle-range score for the introduction/conclusion criterion. However, the logical progression is hindered by the awkward connectivity between the essay's main points, affecting the logical structure score negatively. To improve, ensure smoother transitions and a clearer sequence of ideas that guide the reader effortlessly from one point to the next.

Task Achievement

While the essay attempts to address both components of the prompt, the depth and development of the ideas are somewhat superficial and the reasoning behind the importance of homeownership could be more fully explored. Additionally, the use of specific, detailed examples is limited, impacting the score in both clear comprehensive ideas and relevant specific examples. Enhancing the detail in both explanations and examples will greatly improve the task achievement score.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Some feel that individuals today spend too much time following political news while others feel politics deserves greater attention. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. Do you agree or disagree?

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countries. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweigh the drawbacks?

In many developing countries, there is an increasing movement of workers from rural areas into cities. Why do you think this happen? What problems can this cause.