Nowadays, a growing number of people;e with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatment instead of vising their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
During
recent years, it has been an obvious observation that Change preposition
In
as
Change preposition
with
increasing
population, Correct article usage
the increasing
people
can buying
Wrong verb form
buy
a
medicine from Remove the article
apply
Add an article
the pharmacy
pharmacy
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmacies
instead
of visiting a doctor. In this
essay
I will articulate Add a comma
essay,
this
statement and it's
drawbacks.
The foremost Replace the word
its
disadvantages
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantage
it
would be Correct pronoun usage
apply
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
people
' economical. This
is because of
they will put more and more money Change preposition
apply
to see
the result, I mean by Change preposition
into seeing
that
is
taking alternative medicine Unnecessary verb
apply
such
as from pharmacy
Correct article usage
a pharmacy
instead
of going hospital as well as
a medicines are
from Verb problem
apply
pharmacy
are costly and more expensive than hospitals. Add an article
the pharmacy
a pharmacy
Consequently
, individuals who visit a
small medicines shops rather than doctors Correct article usage
apply
are
spend more money because as we know medicines from pharmacies Unnecessary verb
apply
had
higher Wrong verb form
have
cost
than hospitals. Fix the agreement mistake
costs
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
this
side might be
Unnecessary verb
apply
effects
their finances.
The second Correct your spelling
affect
garvest
negative of taking drugs from Correct your spelling
harvest
gravest
asmall
shops is it would be had Correct your spelling
small
a small
appealing
impact Add an article
the appealing
an appealing
of
Change preposition
on
Correct article usage
the citizene's
citizene's
health. Correct your spelling
citizen's
citizens
This
is because taking street ent without examinan
what they exactly have and to take Correct your spelling
examining
examination
appropriate
remedy.Add an article
the appropriate
an appropriate
aparticular
a good example here, lid Correct your spelling
a particular
particular
people
depend on pharmacies and they have a
serious problem health, it Remove the article
apply
Change the verb form
needs
need
examine and Add the particle
need to
adirect
surgery. Correct your spelling
direct
a direct
However
they take painkillers it might be
increase Unnecessary verb
apply
from
the Change preposition
apply
dangerous
of that problem. Replace the word
dangers
Thus
, because of this
mistake
Add a comma
mistake,
people
will lose their health.
In conclusion, it seem
to me the Change the verb form
seems
formentioned
statement has its main negative Correct your spelling
aforementioned
such
as it would affect their finance and healthcare.Submitted by fatima1173 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a logical structure and the ideas aren't clearly connected or ordered in a logical way. Paragraphs should be well-organized with clear topic sentences that guide the reader through the points made. The usage of cohesive devices such as linking words also needs improvement.
task achievement
The task response is minimally adequate. The question prompt is somewhat addressed, but the development of ideas is limited, lacking depth, and the examples provided are not fully relevant or well-explained. The essay needs a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument to fully meet the task requirements at a higher level.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.