IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Large public places such as parks and squares are essential in both citites and towns Do you agree or disagree?

#places #parks #squares #citites #towns
Big
out door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
 spaces are
nesassary
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necessary
 for people
lives
Wrong verb form
living
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 around the arban area or in different activities no matter what type of
familes
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families
 they are ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 strongly agree with
this
 nation as its
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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creating
Wrong verb form
create
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 more clear
invronment
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environment
 and
also
allowing
Wrong verb form
allows
show examples
 kids and
familes
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families
 to have
such
 anjoying time togther with out the need to speend alot of money . generally having
a large green spaces
Correct the article-noun agreement
a large green space
large green spaces
show examples
 between the city
nighberhood
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neighbourhood
is helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
 clear out the air and better
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environment
Correct article usage
the inviroment
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inviroment
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environment
, in
incetence
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incidence
 in
Correct your spelling
country
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the contry
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contry
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country
 side area where its more
widere
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wider
wide
 in space
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people
pepole
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people
 can do a
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variety
vraity
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variety
 of
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activities
actvites
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activities
 like playing
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football
show examples
foot ball
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football
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 or basketball,
not to mention
 having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big
out door
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outdoor
show examples
 spaces helps
famileas
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families
 to have more
intertaning
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entertaining
interesting
 things to do together during holidays ,
for example
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 summer holiday
pearents
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parents
 can take
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 children to the parks to have fresh air , play together or meeting park other family
memberes
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members
 and have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
lunch , which
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
cheaper in cost wise . in
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 couldnt agree more
how
Change preposition
about how
show examples
amportent
Correct your spelling
important
 is to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
huge green open
earas
Correct your spelling
areas
 that can
incloud defferent
Correct your spelling
include different
 options for the
familes
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families
family
 to enjoy
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 time
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
also
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
 more healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 by increasing the O2 level in the air .
Submitted by hebadyala on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure, as ideas seem to be presented in a somewhat random fashion without clear connections or transitions between them. To improve, you should organize your ideas into clear, distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence followed by supporting sentences. Additionally, use transition words and phrases to link your ideas together more cohesively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effectively executed. The introduction should more clearly state the purpose of the essay and your position on the topic, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your thesis in a powerful way. Work on refining these sections to more effectively frame your argument.
coherence cohesion
While you do support your main points, the support could be stronger and more developed. Providing more detailed examples, elaborating on points with explanations and evidence, and connecting them back to the thesis would make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic, but your response could be more complete. Ensure that you fully answer all parts of the prompt, and that your ideas are fully developed and explained. Add depth to your ideas by discussing implications, contrasts, or comparisons as relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The ideas you present are related to the topic, but they lack clarity and comprehensive development. Each paragraph should include a single clear idea that is then thoroughly explained and supported. Avoid vague statements and focus on being more detailed and precise in your expression.
task achievement
You used some specific examples, but they should be more relevant and detailed. Provide concrete examples that clearly illustrate your point and show a direct connection to your argument. For instance, you could cite statistics, specific parks, events, or anecdotal evidence to support your claim.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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