Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
Technology
has played an important role in todays
world. It has played a vital role in all the sectors.
Change to a genitive case
today's
Moreover
, it has became
Change the form of the verb
become
a
important part of Change the article
an
life
.
Firstly
, I would like
say that there are numerous Add the particle
like to
of
Change preposition
apply
advantage
when integrating Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
Technology
in
human Change preposition
into
life
. For example
, Social media has played a vital role in bringing populous
together. It can be any person staying anywhere in the world, Correct article usage
the populous
One
can communicate through social platform
. Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
Moreover
, There
are many social Fix capitalization
there
platform
where Change to a plural noun
platforms
one
can create a professional profile and look for a job. Eventually, one
can able to
communicate with Verb problem
apply
employer
Correct article usage
an employer
,
Correct word choice
and, Therefore
Therefore
receive a response instantly.
On the other hand
, There are a lot of disadvantages as well. According to
a
research conducted, on Correct article usage
apply
an
average a human Correct article usage
apply
spend
his 70 % of leisure time on Change the verb form
spends
social
platform. Add an article
the social
a social
Instead
of following a social life
with his family. Resulting
, There are more than Wrong verb form
As a result
20
% Correct article usage
a 20
of
increase in Change preposition
apply
divorcee
cases in Correct your spelling
divorce
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
due to
gap
in relationship between couples. Correct article usage
a gap
Moreover
, one
can notice that in todays
world there is a huge building up for physical communication. Which will in Change to a genitive case
today's
coming
day Add an article
the coming
a coming
will
impact our neighbourhood Remove a modal verb
apply
as well as
society.
To conclude
, There are both pros and cons for every individual thing. it is our own decision to choose them wisely. But as per
my Change preposition
in
view
we should not completely depend on modern Add a comma
view,
technology
in life
Therefore
, We should limit the use of technology
only up to certain
level unless and until it doesn't harm our personal Correct article usage
a certain
life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with disjointed ideas and transitions. To improve, create a clear plan before writing, with distinct paragraphs for each main point, and use cohesive devices to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but not fully developed. In the introduction, clearly state the views you will discuss and your thesis. For the conclusion, reiterate your key points and opinion succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Main points are mentioned but not adequately supported with development or examples. When presenting an idea, provide specific examples, statistics, or expert opinions to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The response is only partially complete. The essay addresses some aspects of the task but lacks depth in discussing both views. To improve, allocate equal discussion to each viewpoint and thoroughly articulate your own opinion with reasoned arguments.
task achievement
Ideas are somewhat clear but lack comprehensive development. Expound more on each viewpoint with detailed analysis rather than merely listing advantages and disadvantages.
task achievement
Usage of relevant examples is limited and not specific enough. Enhance the essay by incorporating detailed, real-life examples that directly support your claims and demonstrate an understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example