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Band 2.5

There are fewer controls over the designs and construction of home and office buildings. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

#controls #designs #construction #home #office #buildings #people
It is argued that less attention is paid
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 how people design their office or their home and they build them as they like. I believe there are several disadvantages which override the benefits. People nowadays have started building properties without any control from professionals which is beneficial to the builders because
This
 can help them financially as they use less and cheaper materials . So , they will have more outcomes when it comes to selling the building.
For example
, there are several real state and building agencies which they see their benefits In
this
 statement.
However
, some drawbacks are extremely important to consider. If there is
not any
Rephrase
no
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 control and supervision
on
Change preposition
over
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 how humans construct buildings, there will be some dangers threatening the ones who are using them even
it
Correct word choice
if it
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 can cost their lives.
For example
, Metropol in Iran
has
Verb problem
was
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 destroyed due the poor materials quality and bad engineering in an unpredictable earthquake which took thousands of
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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 and
cost
Verb problem
caused
show examples
 huge damage financially. In conclusion,
while
 some advantages
are exist
Change the verb form
exist
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 but
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that safety comes first and
override
Correct subject-verb agreement
overrides
show examples
 the financial benefits.
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an attempt at logical structure, but the progression of ideas can be somewhat unclear or abrupt at times. Work on creating smoother transitions and ensuring each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effectively utilized to set the stage for your argument and then succinctly summarize your main points. Ensure that the conclusion is fully developed and mirrors the stance presented in the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have made an effort to support your main points with explanations and examples. However, to enhance the clarity and impact, ensure that each body paragraph contains a clear main idea and that your supporting sentences directly relate to and develop this main idea.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task but failed to develop a fully rounded answer. Consider exploring both advantages and disadvantages in more depth and balance. Also, directly address how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, since the task asked for an evaluative comparison.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented in your response need to be expounded upon to show comprehensive knowledge of the topic. Aim to further elaborate on your points with more sophistication and depth of analysis.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples is good, and they are relevant to your argument. Continue utilizing such examples to support your points but make sure to integrate them seamlessly into your argument, providing clear explanations as to how they substantiate your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
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