There are fewer controls over the designs and construction of home and office buildings. So, people can build them however they like. Do the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?
It is argued that less attention is paid
on
how people design their office or their home and they build them as they like. I believe there are several disadvantages which override the benefits.
People nowadays have started building properties without any control from professionals which is beneficial to the builders because Change preposition
to
This
can help them financially as they use less and cheaper materials . So , they will have more outcomes when it comes to selling the building. For example
, there are several real state and building agencies which they see their benefits In this
statement.
However
, some drawbacks are extremely important to consider. If there is not any
control and supervision Rephrase
no
on
how humans construct buildings, there will be some dangers threatening the ones who are using them even Change preposition
over
it
can cost their lives. Correct word choice
if it
For example
, Metropol in Iran has
destroyed due the poor materials quality and bad engineering in an unpredictable earthquake which took thousands of Verb problem
was
lifes
and Correct your spelling
lives
cost
huge damage financially.
In conclusion, Verb problem
caused
while
some advantages are exist
but Change the verb form
exist
i
believe that safety comes first and Change the capitalization
I
override
the financial benefits.Correct subject-verb agreement
overrides
Submitted by amirrezadelghandi3 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an attempt at logical structure, but the progression of ideas can be somewhat unclear or abrupt at times. Work on creating smoother transitions and ensuring each paragraph clearly supports the main argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more effectively utilized to set the stage for your argument and then succinctly summarize your main points. Ensure that the conclusion is fully developed and mirrors the stance presented in the introduction.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have made an effort to support your main points with explanations and examples. However, to enhance the clarity and impact, ensure that each body paragraph contains a clear main idea and that your supporting sentences directly relate to and develop this main idea.
Task Achievement
You addressed the task but failed to develop a fully rounded answer. Consider exploring both advantages and disadvantages in more depth and balance. Also, directly address how the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, since the task asked for an evaluative comparison.
Task Achievement
The ideas presented in your response need to be expounded upon to show comprehensive knowledge of the topic. Aim to further elaborate on your points with more sophistication and depth of analysis.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples is good, and they are relevant to your argument. Continue utilizing such examples to support your points but make sure to integrate them seamlessly into your argument, providing clear explanations as to how they substantiate your claims.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.