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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Although there are a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#translation #software #language
In the contemporary era, there are many technological conveniences and these provide a lot of
choose
Replace the word
choices
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 for learning different
kind
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kinds
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 of knowledge
such
 as a new
language
, several
subject
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subjects
show examples
 and other things. Especially, learning a
language
 is compelling for many people and they need a translator or useful translation
application
. It is necessary to know the
language
 in case you will not be able to access an
application
 in case of a power outage. I agree
with
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apply
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the
Correct determiner usage
that
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 learning a
language
 is beneficial in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 and I will explain my opinion with some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
 in
this
 essay. First and foremost, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
software
 and
application
 has become an integral part of our daily lives especially translator, various type of
language
 learning
application
 has
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role in our life. Despite of translation
software
 available, learning a
language
 may still be advantageous because that technological system
working
Wrong verb form
works
show examples
 with
electiricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
while
this
exist
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exists
show examples
 in our life and if we
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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 the power
unfourtunately
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unfortunately
 we can not access any
software
.
For instance
, learning a
language
 is
requirement
Add an article
a requirement
the requirement
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 person who
work
Change the verb form
works
show examples
 in
Correct article usage
an intenational
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intenational
Correct your spelling
international
 company, things which
doing
Wrong verb form
are done
show examples
 mandatorly with
a just
Correct word choice
only
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software
 available it is not possible for him/her.
On the other hand
, some people believe that many useful
application
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applications
show examples
on
Change preposition
of
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 our technological items are adequate for our lives.
Furthermore
,
according to
 many
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
learning a new
language
 could be only
Correct article usage
a hobbie
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hobbie
Correct your spelling
hobbies
 or
a
Change the article
an
show examples
activite
Correct your spelling
activity
 which spent time for spare time. In conclusion, advanced technology
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 many opportunities for us. These are significantly valuable but it is not enough
only
Fix the infinitive
to only
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 rely on technology, first of
all
Add the comma(s)
all,
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 we should trust ourselves in all fields.
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coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay needs improvement. While an introduction and conclusion are present, they could be made clearer and more impactful. Ensure that your essay has a clear thesis statement that sets the tone for the subsequent paragraphs. Consider using well-defined paragraph structures with topic sentences that introduce the point to be discussed and concluding sentences that reiterate the point and link to the overall essay argument.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, there is a tendency to present ideas in a general manner. To score higher, aim to delve deeper into the topic by providing thorough explanations of the viewpoints, and incorporate fully developed and well-elaborated examples that effectively support your argument. Refrain from making unsubstantiated statements and always back up your claims with clear reasoning or specific instances.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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