IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#government #investment #transport #systems #reductions #ticket #prices #pollution
People believe that spending more money on improving the public
transport
 system and lowering
tickets
Change the noun form
ticket
show examples
 prices will lead to reducing pollution significantly. I completely agree with
this
 statement, as presently, fumes that are being produced by cars are the main reason for air pollution. With several improvements
such
 as adding a bus line with a precise timetable and making tickets cheaper, public
transport
 will definitely experience an increase in its demand. Nowadays, more people are struggling with traffic jams, which leads to
be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
 late for their work,
for example
. By making a new line for public
transport
 and creating a correct schedule, employers will be more likely to use it, as they will receive plenty of benefits, starting from being on time and ending with less time-consuming trips.
For instance
, in Bratislava, it is truly convenient to use buses
instead
 of cars, as you know exactly when the
transport
 arrives and how long it takes to reach your destination. In my hometown Kharkiv, the government haven't just decreased the price of tickets but made all means of public
transport
 completely free,
as a result
 the city had a significant increase in usage by citizens and lowered the level of fumes in
this
 specific area in almost two times, which is insane. By lowering prices the situation will be almost the same.
To sum up
, in my opinion, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 begins to act and not just talk about air pollution, it can easily make people want to use more public
transport
 rather than personal cars, by simply elevating the level of benefits that citizens will receive and making it more appealing to them.
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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the requirements of the task and presents a clear position throughout the response, but it could benefit from a more developed argument with varied sentence structures. You should work on directly answering the question more thoroughly. Expand your ideas with further elaboration and deeper analysis to fully satisfy the task achievement criteria.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates an adequate logical structure, but it could use more sophisticated linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments in a smoother manner. Additionally, try to ensure your paragraphs are well-organized and that each contains a single clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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