IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is a common aspiration among many young people to run their own business, rather than work for an employer. Do you think the advantages of working for yourself outweigh the drawbacks?

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In recent times, more and more people have been running their own business rather than working for a
company
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. Under the circumstances, there is contention over whether being a self-employed worker is more beneficial than devoting themselves to companies. I would argue that working for yourself is far more attractive on account of the flexible working hours
as well as
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 job satisfaction. One of the most appealing aspects of being a worker in a
company
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 is to secure a stable source of
income
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.
For instance
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, by working for the same hours in a month, you can usually generate an equal amount of
income
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 to the previous months.
This
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 predictable
income
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 could allow you to prepare for regular expenditures
such
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 as rent, fuel, meals, and daily essentials.
Hence
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, unless the
company
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 went out of business or dismissed you, the quality of your life would be well maintained.
However
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, having your own business has a great deal of merits, one of which is pertaining to its flexibility. As you have the authority to decide if you need to
work
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, you can schedule your shifts, enabling you to take days off for your holidays, family commitments, and emergent situations flexibly if needed.
This
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 would be quite challenging when you are working for a
company
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 because a replacement will be essential.
Furthermore
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, in most cases, self-employers are inclined to develop their businesses based on their interests,
hence
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 they would be more likely to feel a sense of satisfaction through the
work
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. The more people like their
work
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, the less they feel stressed.
To conclude
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, I acknowledge that being a member of the
company
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 can provide us with a secure
income
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, I strongly believe that adjustable working hours and feeling content with
work
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 are far more important.
Therefore
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, working for ourselves outweighs the main drawbacks of the possible unstable payments.

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Task Response
Be sure to directly address the question in your introduction, giving a preview of your main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Ensure that examples used are not only relevant but also detailed, as this will strengthen your argument and task response.
Task Response
Your essay would benefit from a more nuanced examination of the drawbacks of self-employment to balance the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aspiration
  • entrepreneur
  • flexibility
  • decision-making
  • financial rewards
  • personal fulfillment
  • challenges
  • financial risk
  • invested capital
  • cash flow
  • guaranteed income
  • work-life balance
  • responsibility
  • pressure
  • burnout
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