Many large supermarkets are being built today while the number of small shops is decreasing. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
These days an increasing number of supermarkets have been built,
whereas
local shops
are becoming less popular to establish. This
mainly happens due to
a broad range of international and local products
that are combined in one place as well as
the accessibility that big shops
provide . Even though supermarkets are convenient, I truly believe that shutting down small stores has more disadvantages than benefits, and this
essay will explain why.
To begin
, big food stores offer a variety of products
including exclusive items from overseas. This
gives people an opportunity to explore another culture,
and try international food and spices. Remove the comma
apply
For example
, in Melbourne, Coles and Woolworth shops
have international sections with Thai and Japanese food products
, along with
sauces and spices. Moreover
, bigger shops
often present competitive prices and reward cards. Hence
, this
will lead to lower
Correct article usage
a lower
the
cost of living for customers. Correct article usage
apply
However
, these shops
do not bring unique features to the city, making it dull and unappealing.
Small businesses provide the place a local character, which shapes the atmosphere and the vibe of the city. This
means that small shops
contribute to a local culture that attracts visitors from other cities and even countries. For instance
, Melbourne's north side of the city is well known for its craft shops
with handmade candles, cards, jewellery and house decoration. Many visitors are attracted to these places because people can purchase unique items that no one has
. Rephrase
else has
Additionally
, smaller shops
require fewer resources to operate which is more sustainable and better for the environment.
In conclusion, even though bigger stores offer a one-stop shopping experience and products
discounts, local Change the noun form
product
shops
bring the culture to the area, representing creative designers and green policies. Hence
, I believe that the small shops
need to be promoted, keeping their popularity as well as
bigger shops
.Submitted by innakireeva0101 on
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task achievement
You should ensure that your introduction and conclusion are both clear and fully developed. The introduction presented does not explicitly state if the essay will discuss the advantages or disadvantages or both, nor does it clearly state your position which can be inferred but is not clearly mentioned. The conclusion is also somewhat underdeveloped and could more decisively state the central argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You must work on the clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. Ensure that each paragraph naturally flows from one to the next and that cohesion is maintained through the use of appropriate cohesive devices and varied sentence structures. Your essay could benefit from the use of linking words and phrases to guide the reader more smoothly from point to point.
task achievement
Make sure you provide a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument if the essay task requires you to evaluate advantages and disadvantages. While you addressed both sides, the discussion of advantages lacked depth compared to the disadvantages, which could imply a bias that may not effectively tackle the prompt's requirements.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...