The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities form 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The graph illustrates data regarding the proportion of the number of people in

Philippines

Correct article usage

the Philippines

show examples

, Malaysia,Thailand and Indonesia staying in cities from 1970 to 2020, with estimations for 2030 and 2040.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is visible that Malaysia is predicted to have the highest

population

Use synonyms

by 2040 followed by Indonesia and Thailand.

On the other hand

Linking Words

Philipines

Correct your spelling

Philippines

show examples

is forecasted to have a gradual increase in the number of people by the year 2040.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it is clear from the chart that Malaysia is predicted to have a significant increase in its

population

Use synonyms

by 2040, the figures are

forseen

Correct your spelling

foreseen

to jump from around 30% to about 80% from 1970 to 2040 respectively.

Additionally

Linking Words

, Indonesia and Thailand

also

Linking Words

witnessed a gradual increase in terms of people living in their countries. The

population

Use synonyms

figures for these two countries are estimated to

jumb

Correct your spelling

jump

slightly from about 12% and 19% to a range of 60% and 48% from 1970 to 2040 respectively. It is

also

Linking Words

clear that

Philippines

Correct article usage

the Philippines

show examples

witnessed fluctuations in its

population

Use synonyms

from 1970 to around 2010.

However

Linking Words

, from

this

Linking Words

period, the

population

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

forecasted to rise

consistantly

Correct your spelling

consistently

from about 25% in 2010 to around 45% in 2040.

Submitted by tafadzwakguruza on Wed Dec 13 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

194 words

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